Stalker in the Shadows
by SheldonOswaldLee
Summary: "Stalker in the Shadows" will be focused around a teenage Helga following her beloved football head, stalking him night and day, building shrines for him in her closet, filling volumes of books with poems, admiring him from afar. I want to focus on Helga and Arnold of course but also more on the other characters of the show. Including these we haven't seen very often!
1. Chapter I: Always there

Disclaimer: Nick and Craig Bartlott own Hey Arnold!

Post FTI, after The Jungle Movie and after The Patakis!

Hey Arnold: Stalker in the Shadows

Chapter I: Always there

"6.346 days... 2 hours... 37 minutes... 46 seconds... my inner clock counts. Every each and one Minute I was in love with that stupid football head. My secret volumes of poem books now fill a whole second room and my secret shrine is still there. Why oh why Arnold cant you see whats right in front of you? Why do you just fall for anyone else, when every time I look at your football shaped-head I fall in love again? Oh Angel what should I do, my heart is torn apart when I'm not with you !" right then Helga's monologue paused for a moment, she thought about her last sentence once again.

"Thats a good starter Ill write it down!" the pigtailed teenager told herself, grabbed one of her poem books out of her shelf and started writing in her bed. Flipping back and staring to the ceiling the girl thought about her love again. What was he doing right now, was he still asleep, was he awake, getting ready for school? Was the sun shining to his roof enlightening his weird but lovable head even more?

But if he was the light, what was she on the other side? Was she a lurking shadow, a wraith in the night? Like the morning mist out of the underground or from side streets she was everywhere and nowhere to be near him, see him, taste the sent of his shampoo, of his deodorant of his sweating clothes when he showered in the high school after football practise or at his home outside of his room. Sometimes she loved to break into the bordering house when he was not there, loved to lay in his bed and breathing his scent out of every corner of his room. When she clothed here eyes then it was like if he was right there, right next to her and that was more than enough for more than one teenage fantasy of her.

She loved when she could her the water running down the walls in the old bordering house when she knows he was showering downstairs, she loved to collect hings he tossed away, whether they were garbage or not, because for her everything he ever touched was something special. Of course she didn't collect his used gum anymore, at least not in places Bob or Miriam could find them.

Sometimes she caught herself stealing things from his room, a shirt or a sock and then she hugged these thing tightly at night when she sleeped to have something from him near to her. For Helga everything in her teenage life was the pure horror, sure Bob know her name now, Miriam was sober and her school grades where good but all that stuff didn't matter for her. It was like the world was an old Movie, all in black and white and the minute she saw his adorable smile a flash of colours was storming over it all, like he was some kind of magician or god, that tossed the grey clouds away just by waving his hand to a greeting.

It couldn't be insane to wish for love, to wish for the right, the one and true love, even Olga found someone she seamed happy with and Geraldo was dating her best friend Phoebe. Damn nearly everyone in that damn high school seams to date someone, even Rhonda and Wolfgang had found someone to match their personality, so why not she herself Helga questioned once again.

Suddenly her Alarm went on and the Hellgirl realised that time was once against her this morning, she had daydreamed nearly and hour about her beloved and school was starting soon. Grabbing some clothes from the ground and rushing out of her room, Helga headed towards the bathroom, that was now already occupied from Bob. Looking at her watch, Helga knocked on the looked door and snapped:

"Crimeny Bob, Im late for school for gods sake!" she told her father.

"Yeah, yeah Im finished any minute Helga!" Bob told her trough the door, loudly but not really shouting.

"Any minute Helga, any minute!" she mimicries his voice while rolling her eyes. She didn't have time for this, normally she was already on the bus driving to Arnold's and watching him getting ready for school or leaving the house for the bus or Gerald's car. Over the years Helga hat gotten good in stalking and sport, outrunning the bus to arrive at school to watch him coming was easy. Going on the same bus was even better, but following Geraldo's car was impossible even over the sideways. Even her beloved Arnold always told Gerald how dangerous fast driving was and Phoebe agreed when they argue outside of the car. It was clear that tall-hearboy wanted to impress his little girl by doing so but it was stupid. And yet, how Helga wished Arnold would do something like that for her even if it was only half as crazy or stupid, heck even if it wasn't crazy or stupid at all she would love it for sure.

Thanks to Bob she had no time to get all ready or she would be late once again, not for school but to admire Arnold from afar. Sniffing under her arm she grabbed deodorant from her desk, that had to do it for now. She also has not washed her hair or shaved her legs today. Then again no one would really see much of her pigtails under her beanie and the jeans covered her unshaved legs everyday anyway, so what the heck. Grabbing her backpack and Rollerblades Helga jumped down the stairs and headed outside, no time for food preparing, after all Arnold was all he needed to survive the day.

Pulling her headphones up and her Rollerblades on she know she still could make it in time for school and maybe, just maybe see a little bit of Arnoldo before he enters the building. Of course they hat the same class after she manipulates a few papers at night in the office room of the principle, but staring at Arnold in every class was not an option. People like some of their old classmates could get suspicious so she just eyed him once or twice each class even if she wanted to stare at his perfect silhouette for as long as she could. Nearly hit by a few cars Helga managed to get to school before the bell rang, skating down the hallway and passing one of her teachers.

"Young lady, you will get deten !" tion for that, the teacher wanted to say as she skated near him, but she was already in another hallway of Hillwood High before he could even recognise her in the last running students heading for their class. Finally room 58 came in sight and Helga slipped in, stormed to her place and finally flipped the rollers from her boots. The look over to her classmates, especially Arnold let her beating heard no rest, but calmed it down a little bit.

"Whats the hurry Pataki?" Gerald asked interested, he had watch her hurry to class, nearly out of breath like every other of their classmates too. Arnold looked at her too, clearly worrying if something was wrong, so she shoot him an angry glare and gave him a scroll.

Why Arnold why cant you see past my rough exterior, look deep inside my love and you will find what you where always looking for her inner voice told Helga. Yeah right genius tell it to me and not to him Helga told herself as she realised she was still looking towards Gerald without answering. Slapping herself across her face she shacked her head.

"None of your beeswax Geraldo now move on to your lover-boy!" Helga smirked at her bad words as Gerald gave up and turned around angrily. Arnold shook his head in disbelief and once again turned to Gerald himself, who was whispering to his best friend what her problem would be. Yeah Geraldo whats my problem, am I secretly and totally gaga, head over heels, , over the moon, in love with your best friend. Yeah thats right idiot look at me, figure it out tell him make my life a miserable hell when he rejects me.

"Clearly man I cant just see what her problem is?" Gerald told him whispering and Arnold the charming, caring angel that he was just answered: "Im sure she is just having a bad morning!"

How on earth can one human being be so caring, so lovable so perfect Helga asked herself. While Arnold and Gerald started chatting like the others she drifted off to a dreamland, where everything was good and right in her way. The one and only place she and Arnold ever have been together for good. Their little dating before he moved to San Lorenzo was great but now Helga was sure it never meant anything to him it was all just to get over another girl. Why else would they break up after one year, clearly it wasn't all because of his parents and his wish to live with them. They could have stayed connected if he wanted to, she always wanted it anyway.

The morning was typical for her, ignoring the teachers and mostly concentrating about her own world, the world where Arnold loved her back, Helga spaced out a few times during he classes. Just sport in the gym got her full attention, seeing Arnold running down the hall in his short sports-dress was nearly too much for her how she loved to look at any curve of his body, from his head to his feet. Hadn't she learned to control her behavior, her deepest feelings so good Helge would start drooling by the wonderful look he gave towards her. Sometimes she saw him smiling at the bench where everyone sat, clearly not directed to her, that was wishful thinking but still that smile couldve melted her away. During recess she realised she had followed him to his table with her tablet, to hide her Zombie-Mode she quick walked past Arnold and Gerald as they sat down. One table behind them she sat herself down for lunch, waiting in a perfect spot to eye him whenever she took a bite of her meal from this position.

"Helga why dont you come over here!" Phoebe asked her best friend as she sat down next to her boyfriend Gerald. That tricky girl Helga thought, clearly she just wanted her to avoid Arnold from Gerald by talking to him, so the two of them could have more private talks together. On the other hand the little japanese teenager was brilliant enough to force her to talk to Arnold because she know what Helga felt and wanted her to come out of her shell. No such luck today Pheebs the Hellgirl thought, but set next to Arnold across Gerald and her best friend anyway.

"Hey Helga!" Arnold greeted friendly, while Gerald just mumbled a short "Pataki!" to greet her. The four of them were hanging out more often now that Gerald and Pheebs became a pair, but that didn't make Helga's Dilemma easier.

"Football Head, Tall Hair Boy, Pheebs!" Helga greeted as calmly and concentrated as she could. Arnold smiled one of his smiles and started to talk to Helga while Gerald and Phoebe were clearly distracted by flirting with each other. While looking at his perfect shaped head Helga wanted nothing more than to pin Arnold to the table and make out like there was no tomorrow. Was it hormones, sure it was too but hormones didn't start with tree years, also puberty didn't help to calm her down, instead she was now fantasizing about thing with Arnold she had never thought about before in that way.

" whats your opinion Helga?" the football headed boy asked as the Hellgirl finally realised that he was talking to her.

"I I !" she tried to come up with something but clearly didn't pay enough attention to even have a small idea what he was talking about. While searching for the right idea she looked over to their best friends who started kissing. Right like the idea of kissing could help her little Problem with Arnoldo over here, instead it even made it harder to concentrate as she imagined their best friends as themselves.

"Crimeny you two, rent a room!" she shouted annoyed towards Gerald who pulled away from Phoebe with a loud smack, while Arnold started laughing at the whole scene. Gerald and Phoebe on the other hand looked embarrassed, clearly they have been carried away.

"Yeah anyway I have forgotten my sport-bag I just remembered, see you around Phoebe. My main man, Pataki!" Gerald told them, rubbing his neck nervous as he stood up and left in a hurry after he disband.

"On a second thought I forget something at my looker too!" Pheebs realised out of nowhere and then hurried out of the cafeteria herself. Arnold looked a little irritated and questioned to the places their best friends sat just minutes ago.

"They sure get forgetful late!" the football headed boy said and with that I couldn't stop myself from laughing like a maniac. Was he really that dense most of the time I asked myself.

"Poor dense football head, its obvious they are heading towards the toilets for a wild make-out session!" and with that Helga grinned evilly for exposing Geralds and Pheebs plans.

"Please Helga I thing our friends have more class than to make out on a school toilet of all places!" Arnold told her and shake from the picture of their school toilets in his head. Helga meanwhile was getting more exited and nervous every second, now that she and Arnold where alone at the table. And the idea of guiding this conversation towards teenage make-out places was even making things more awkward and scary for her even if she was known as the tough and bad girl around school.

"Whatever lemon head, maybe its their hormones who knows? If you would excuse me, I'm have to go to the toilets!" the blond girl lied to have an excuse to avoid her beloved for the rest of recess. She just knew that when she was staying things would head-en up, at least in her mind. And then finally she would snap once and for all grabbing him by his collar and doing things she never could take back. So she decided to leave and stood up, as Arnold grabbed her arm and stopped her instantly.

"Helga!" came his more serious, nearly warning voice and she knew that when she turned around to look him in the eyes she would break right now and here in the cafeteria.

"You're not going to spy on them are you?" the dense football head asked all of the sudden and earned a look of disbelieve from Helga. She looked as if he was an Alien from Mars right now, clearly not prepared for such a question.

"Yuk! Arnold whats your problem? The idea of that question alone with their tongue wrestling earlier will give me enough nightmares for the whole week. Seriously I want to puke right now football head!" Helga told him with a grimace as if she was ready to puke over the table right now. Even if I love him with all my heard and admire his concern about me and his friends, what is going wrong in his head sometimes Helga thought disgusted from the image of their best friend making out together. Finally he led her arm go and she made her way out, not looking back afraid he would notice. Once around the corner she could not help but spy back just to see him once again before walking towards her next class.

School went by the next hours and finally the day was over. Arnold, Geraldo and the rest of the boys would head towards the baseball-field for their afternoon training, with Pheebs and other classmates watching them. Helga played too and like school she was good in it, but also like school she showed up to late or tardy. These few hours where the only time she could sneak inside Arnold's room without anyone noticing. The other boarders and his grandparents whoulnt notice her since there were always loud noises in the house. Alone even if just for half an hour in the greatest temple for her beloved god, his room was the light of her day. From the old fire escape over the roof right inside his room was not that hard and whenever he was outside the house without her following she spent her time here. School and friend had already suspected she was in some kind of gang or even on drugs all the times she was here without someone knowing where or what she did in her afternoon. She always told the people to shut up, but the rumors never stopped anyway. That was one of the many reasons she was that sneaky and silent when breaking into his room. With all these rumors who knew if no one of the other teens was spying or stalking her with every move like she did with Arnold. She was sure to have seen Brainy behind a few dumpsters once she turned around as she heard a noise.

His room was like heaven, the skylight filled it with bright light and it always smelled really really good. His closet was wonderful with all that clothes he wear night and day and sometimes she picked her favorite shirts out of it to where them when she wandered around his room. Waring his shirts, laying on his couch or his bed felt like he was there, cuddling with her in his room, it felt perfect for Helga, even if it was just an illusion.

Going through his things she scanned for pictures of other girl he might like, or looked for his diary to know what he was thinking about in the moment. It was the closest way she could think of getting near him and clearly no one was going to be hurt by that Helga believed.

Was it just her, was this normal, was she even caring if it was? Many questions popped up in her mind from time to time, all of them around one person in particular; Arnold. But for how long could this go on how long was it enough to admire him just from afar, when every bone, every muscle inside her wanted to reach out to touch, to embrace him. Sometimes she wished to be just the shadow she felt like all the time, she wished to be his shadow to be true. Following him whenever, wherever he was not just like it was now. Not by day or night she would leave him then and they could be two parts of one unique being like she always wished it to be.

What would she give for him being really here right now, for him being with her? But like all sweet dreams it had to end right now. Clearly sometime someone could just walk into Arnold's room without knocking either his grandma or grandpa while he was not at home, so staying any longer was getting dangerous. Second to that she really wanted to see practise today, most of all see how Arnold was practising, so Helga got up and tossed his clothes away to leave this Temple of Love.

A few blocks away from Arnold's house next to the neighborhood where Hillwood High was the practice took place on the schools own field. Helga had to admit sneaking away from school was way more easier than sneaking back to the field where so many eyes could see her. Hiding behind the bleachers she waited for the right time to join Phoebe on the not so crowded side without anyone noticing. She had to admit she was getting really good at this, even James bound would be proud of her skills.

"Konbanwa Helga!" her petite japanese friend greeted her with her small voice as Helga set down next to her followed by a friendly "Pheebs!" greeting from her. "Where have you been?" Phoebe wanted to know since she missed Helga right after school and once again couldn't reach her at her house.

"I was going for some ice-cream Pheebs!" the pigtailed girl answered her hugging he knees to her body as she watched the game in front of her. Phoebe gave a satisfied smile leaving once again the image in Helga's mind that she knew more than they ever talked about. But when you've been friend with someone as long as Pheebs its like shes a sister, like family I know her inside and outsides and she was even in school smart enough to figure out whom I really meant when I referred to ice-cream. The only question was why she didn't lecture me or calling me insane, since Arnold was at the game all the time. But good little Pheebs didn't seam to notice or ignored the fact and she never bugged me with many questions when I didn't want to open up by myself. Maybe that was why we became best friend in the first, we totally knew when to be there for each other and when the other needed just a little space for himself. It was these magic combination of deep friendship when one could finish each others friendship and thought, something football head was always good at too.

When no one else, even not Pheebs managed to see the darkest and miserable days in my life he always popped u out of nowhere offering a helping hand, a little talk or other stuff like that. As rough as I am sometimes and as tough I wanted to be his do-gooder-stuff when you talk about problems instead of beating someone up seamed to work pretty good to and sometimes his stupid little advices gave m lectures for my life. Im still not sure if my little angel is just listening to his heart and soul when he comes up with stuff like that or if he is just guessing lucky from time to time.

Whatever it was it worked his magic even if she pushed him away from her he never gave up and unknowing to him closet the bound between them to by doing so. And the clother they get, the more they spent time togethr with Geraldo and Pheebs the more harder it gets. Why wasnt he seing that every move he made, every smile he showed her where tearing down her walls of defence. Walls that where there for their own sake, so his rejection of her whouldnt destroy their friendship that had build over the time. First she just pretendet to tolerate him for Pheebs but even as dence as he was, he must know by now that she could stand beeing around him and that she didnt hate it as much as she pretendet once again after he came back from San Lorenzo. Wasnt he realising that he was teasing her emotions and feelings with his actions, wasnt he aware that his shining eeyes where like dagegrs sometimes striking right in her heard and soul.

What was it all those other bimbos had that she doesnt all those puppets he goes crazy over every three month? Was it their good look, their girlish behavior or just the fact that they didnt call him names. Most of those chicks where redheads, so Helga thought about dyeing her hair once or twice but never did it in the end. The same way she wanted to win his heard fair and square the same way she wanted him to love her fo herself. She didnt want to be like one of these make-up dolls with fake extensions, fake hair colour, fake tan, fake friends and their own fake character. Maybe she was hiding her own feelings behind a mask, but most of the people in school where hiding everything else, from their true self to their real dreams. Like string puppets guidet by an invisible hand, weather it was by following the marching feet of the masses without own free will or something else.

"Speaking of ice-cream Pheebs go get us some!" Helga's ordered as she gave her best friend some money from her wallet.

"Getting!" the japanese girl answered in her own unique way and headed over to the Jolly Olly Man at the side of the field, giving helga some extra time for herself to look and thign about her beloved she was secretly staring at right now.

"Speaking of ice-cream Pheebs go get us some!" Helga's ordered as she gave her best friend some money from her wallet.

"Getting!" the Japanese girl answered in her own unique way and headed over to the Jolly Olly Man at the side of the field, giving Helga some extra time for herself to look and thing about her beloved she was secretly staring at right now.

My eyes did that trick again when everything other than Arnoldo wasn't clear in view,like the world around him didn't exist at all. There he was running like an angel would fly, the thought alone made Helga shiver in her seat.

What would it cost to be with him, whatever it was even her soul she would sell it all for him. Maybe she wouldn't sell Pheebs to the devil, but Bob could be a good gift after all his soul was rotten when it comes to business. And hasn't it been for a few years back she would have guessed it was just totally dark, but things lightened p in the family a lot since Miriam wasn't a alcoholic anymore. He was a real version of Tony Soprano with the difference of no humor whatsoever on his side. If she didn't know any better she would say he was a American mobster by the way he did business and the people he met. But then again Bob nearly talked much about business with his family, others than his sentences about how well he had worked that day or everything paid off.

Maybe that was one of the first thinks she ever liked about Arnold, she never wanted her husband and man be like anything that reminds her of Bob. Sure Robert was not at all bad deep down but still an ass in many ways to people outside his family and Arnold was as far opposite to him as God was from the Devil. She needed that as a kid, heck she needed it now to, that kindness and friendship, the help and trust Arnold had in this big bad world even if it disappointed it often or proved him wrong. Like an ancient hero slaying dragons and demons he fought his way to all the bad things, helping these who deserve it. Like her knight in the shining armor he still kept his special smile in the worst situations to lighten people up and Helga was sure his journey would go on until he finally rescued her too, as his damsel in distress.

Finally Pheebs get back with the ice-cream and handed me my portion. As i took the first bite i finally choked from it hearing Pheebs question.

"So how was the ice-cream Helga?" the smaller girl asked shy and silent in her own special way and looked concerned to her best friend.

"Pheebs!" Helga used her Name in shock, still choking on her ice-cream, while Phoeby patted her back to help. "I … I … I really don't know what to thing Pheebs, maybe I'm crazy maybe I need help like Dr. Bliss again!" the pigtailed girl confessed to her friend. Maybe she really needed help, maybe this was all going to far, she knew deep inside that it was tearing her apart, that she couldn't stand this much longer.

"I think your overreacting Helga, as long as no one gets hurt it's just a very unique and special way to express your feelings!" her best friends explained while she adjusted her glasses. Phoebe wanted to know since she missed Helga right after school and once again couldn't reach her at her house.

"Pheebs you don't even know half the things I do!" the Hellgirl said bitterly, nearly having tears in her eyes. To Phoebe it was clear that her best friend was under much stress about the whole situation and that she needed s much comfort and help she could get without letting the world know what she really did when even she didn't know it all.

"There are no animal sacrifices I guess and all the girls ice-cream likes are still alive so I don't see any harm done here!" the small Japanese girl told her friend while Helga was looking wide-eyed in disbelief towards her.

"What?" Helga asked confused, she must have misheard herself.

"I'm just saying that if you don't cross a line where you are hurting yourself or others everything is fine!" Pheebs told me calming me down. Maybe she was right at this but I wasn't sure, some of my own actions even scare myself.

"You really think so?" Helga asked in disbelief.

"Of course!" Phoebe said and hugged her friend to comfort her a little.

"Thanks Phoebe. So what are you doing this evening, want to hang out later?" I asked friendly since I already knew that Arnoldo was spending some time with Geraldo. It was always hard spying on him while he was out with his best friend or the gang so I figured some Phoebe-Helga-Time wouldn't be so bad.

"I'm very sorry Helga but Gerald already invited me to a restaurant!" Phoebe confessed while a red blush appeared on her face.

"Don't worry yourself Pheebs, I'll find other things to do!" and by that I meant spending more time with Arnold. Knowing exactly that a romantic dinner from Geraldo neither includes me or Arnold there must have been a change in plans. For me that meant that Arnold was not spending his time with Gerald and since he was no young man to change his plans fast I just knew he was probably not going to see anyone instead, so it would be easier to stalk the dense boy.

But what was her football headed god doing then, hopefully she wished he would go to a amusement park, or even better find something in this stinking town even she didn't know to do for fun till now. Getting new ideas for great amusement was always a classic and doing it while having Arnold around was even better for her.

After the game Helga and Phoebe chatted a little longer, till Gerald finally picked her up for their evening. She ducked behind a nearly fence, jumping over it like it was nothing, years of practise from stalking and hiding did pay of and the Hellgirl had to admit it was so easy for her to jump or climb walls and roofs it wasn't even funny anymore at all like it had been as a kid.

Seeing Pheebs walking off with chocolate, as she referred to Gerald when they where not alone same way Helga calls Arnold Ice-Cream, Helga gets a little jealous. Not at her best friend and clearly not over Geraldo, but it was an permanent urge to feel miserable any other couple moves by, while she was not with her beloved, her promised, her chosen one. That smell, Arnold was coming so she quickly ducked again behind the fence. The way he walks, the way he talks it was all like some sort of hypnoses like he was doing it on purpose just to drive her crazy and nuts. Deep don she know he wouldn't do something on purpose but she couldn't stop thinking about it when clearly she felt it anytime and he cursed from some bad luck didn't see it at all it seamed.

Waiting for a few students, classmates and friends to pass by she finally followed up after then when she was sure no one would see her. Clearly tall-hearboy had already told him that their plans where cancelled cause he didn't follow Gerald and neither did Arnold head back home Helga realized. The way he drifted trough the town made clear he had no real goal or idea what to do with his evening, but finally Arnold stopped before the theater.

No, please no came a thought to Helga's mind, as he looked through the posters. Clearly he seamed to spot out one of these boring, love movies most girls like so much. Helga just hated them, maybe because they reminded her so much of her own miserable love life, if you could call a never ending crush on Arnold love life.

"One ticked for Heartbreakers Five please!" she told the cashier bitterly who was looking confused at her. Sure not many girls go to a cheesy-movie all alone with a angry face and a bitter mode she guessed. But as she paid the young man didn't seam to care anymore and handed her the ticked. Just in time to see Arnold heading with popcorn and coke to his cinema room- wait what is he doing there? The Hellgirl couldn't believe her eyes as Arnoldo was walking towards "Evil Twin XIV Triplet Twins" instead of "Heartbreakers V". Great so he didn't chose the stupid love film at all Helga rolled her eyes. Quickly buying some food of her own she followed her one true love and sat down a few seats behind him. Far enough so he wouldn't notice her when turning around but near enough to see his silhouette and maybe even hear and smell him a little.

How his golden hair was shining in the dim light, like cornfields in the morning sun. How his slow breath sounded like a calming, warm summer wind. The way his hair smelled like pure bliss, his lips looked like the sweetest fruits. She was a little surprised her beloved boy had not picked out a less violent movie, but then again it was one more thing they had secretly in common. The movie was great but Helga had to stay focused on it way to hard. The wish to just crawl up these seats to sit next to him was strong. Like Yoda had said, not stronger the dark side is, but quicker, easier, more seductive.

That was exactly the way she felt when her mind harboured around Arnold in some special ways that have started since puberty. How she wanted to grab him, dig her nails in his flesh, smell his scent while kissing his sweet lips and touch his hair like some sort of cute and foreign animal that needed to be cuddled. Right now, right here she wouldn't mind if he stood up, walked towards her and started to make out with here in the middle of all those people. But the boy she loved wasn't like that and except from the fact that she would never denie anything he offers her she loved him for it. He didn't want an easy slutty girl like so much man, he wanted the right girl for him, someone to win as a prise not something that trough itself at you like someone else had just throw it away like garbage.

Just then Arnold stood up, leaving his place and headed out, while the movie still wasn't over. What was that about Helga questioned herself, staring back at the place he had just sit a minute ago. His drink and the popcorn was just there so maybe he did just go to the toilet. Then again maybe he had seen her and just discovered her deepest, darkest secret. Switching back and fourth between calm and panic Helga didn't recognise that Arnold had came back from the toilets, or that he spotted her in the crowd of people.

"Hey Helga!" the calm and friendly voice of Arnold called out for her as he nearly stood beside he without her noticing him.

"Whoa criminy football head, want to give me a heart-attack?" Helga panicked as she finally realised that her beloved one was standing next to her, pulling his hand gently on her shoulder to get her out of her staring state.

"Why don't we sit and enjoy the movie together Helga?" the football headed boy offered the Hellgirl and pointed towards his seat. After all they know each other, even where friends in Arnold's mind and at the same movie at the moment, so why not enjoy it together. Helga blushes red, but luckily Arnold couldn't see it in the dark and she quickly thought about some excuse. She couldn't do this now she would just jump on him like some crazy maniac starting to kiss him all over if she would sit next to him.

"I … you … movie, well …!" she hesitated looking back at her ticked. It still read "Heartbreakers V" so she came up with an excuse pretty soon without thinking about it twice.

"Yeah well you see football head, I'm actually in the wrong movie, I have picked Heartbreakers V!" Helga explained laughing a little as if she was aware of how stupid this mistake must look. Arnold as dense and blind sometimes didn't buy the excuse this time.

"Helga half of the film is already over, shouldn't you figured that out sooner, I mean you're a pretty clever girl?" and while he looked surprised she just heard the words pretty and clever directed to hr and nearly swoon by that. Arnold grabbed her fast as she fell back so she didn't hit the ground.

"Helga are you okay, do you feel alright?" he asked worried about her and touched her head to see if she had fever and was ill of some kind. Stupid football head and his stupid worries making it all the way harder to resist him.

"Sheesh of course I'm okey Arnoldo, now get your hand off me!" Helga ordered, while pushing him away, slapping his hand as they reached out to stop her from falling back once again.

"Are you sure you don't look so good and clearly Heartbreakers V doesn't sound much like a movie you would like!" Arnold realised and tried to figure out why she was lying and acting that weird all of the sudden, like it was his do-good-er nature.

"And since when do you know something important about me and my likes well football head?" Helga finally snapped and runs out of the room before Arnold could even answer or follow here. Why Arnold must I torture you and myself all the time, why can't I be nice to you weather or not you someday may realise and return my feelings towards you she questioned herself once she reached the girls toilets.

Alone and in tears she questioned herself and her live like so many times before, maybe it was some cruel way of faith to torture her for past sins in a former live, maybe some former past long ago. After all didn't these green eyed people believe she was some reborn goddess same way Arnold was in their eyes. After all a whole tribe of people couldn't be wrong and it wasn't such her who praises Arnold like some sort of god. Then again they thought she was some kind of goddess too so maybe it was faith after all that they were meant for each other at all.

The only thing clear now was that Helga's Head was burning, hurting and spinning like she get hit by a truck. Why was love so hard, why was life itself so hard to her, when clearly it was falling like a big and delicious fruit in the hands of others like Rhonda. That's right the little princess got everything in her life without even working for it and I Helga G. Pataki on the other hand was working harder than the most people and still never get what I deserved. Sure my family wasn't poor either, but ob didn't gave me much money when I really need it blabbering something about hard money must be earned by hard work and such bullshit.

Arnold never had much either, first he hadn't had his parents for a long time and clearly the old boarding house wasn't getting them very much money, still he wasn't poor and he wasn't complaining about it ever.

Clearly Arnold had a better character, better moral standards and enough optimism to look on the bride side whatever life trows at him. Like an invisible shield was around him nothing of that ever seams to touch him and he protected others from the bad things of the world whenever possible. She loved that about him too, that he was a little old fashioned in some ways, like a gentleman from the last century. There where some genuine, some true things in these moves and intention of his that she always missed by most people in our times. Like something Shakespeare had written it was kind of a fairytale for herself to become true. The poor princess and the shining night against a dark world enlightening it with their pure love for each other. That was what love was all about, two people getting together to create their own little paradise while the world around them still was a mad, crazy and dangerous place. But love could build walls even a whole castle to protect these inside from all these dangers and problems. And like most good castles loves greatest danger could come from enemies within its walls and not from the outside. How long she had waited for Arnold to claim her castle, to crush her walls of defence and rush trough them forward to the motte that represented her heard.

Knowing his great faith in himself and his brace behavior she knew he was the only one to ever crush that fortress, to win to conquer her.

Was it clear now to get out, was Arnold still watching the movie, did he try to follow her or did he went home after that, Helga questioned as she looked slowly out of the girls toilet-room. Left, right no sign of the football head so Helga sneaked out of the theater and felt safe once more.

Clearly walking right home wouldn't do it right now, as Arnold's House would be on her way, so Helga just took an unusual way to her residence. On her way she spotted a familiar face in Tina Park. She had already known he was there before she has seen him, over the years she had developed a pretty good Arnold-radar on her own. He was sitting on a bench under a big tree and he looked to the sky, while the sunset filled it all in dark but warm colours, mostly red and orange.

It was like an old landscape picture with overwhelming warm colours and the picture of him daydreaming and looking to the sky was so innocent, so sweet it let Helga forget all her fear and anger in that moment. What wonderful moment would it be if she just could sit with him there, but her defence mechanism one more would click in and run the moment, making him think that she was some kind of freak even more than now.

In times like this Helga wished she could be nice and cute like Lila or Nadine and act just like a girly-girl like them but that wasn't just her. Her father always was disappointed in the way she acted and from the start it was clear that he didn't wanted to have another daughter, cause he was satisfied with Olga already. Maybe that was the main reason she became so tomboyish once so her family would recognise her as something more than Olga's shadow, but even when all that was over and they were growing on each other like a real family she couldn't change the fact that she had developed a very manly personality. To be true she never wanted to change that fact when she saw how stupid, immature and helpless all the other girls acted like idiots just to get the attention of some boys and how it became more and more popular to act like you where stupid to get more attention trough all of school. That just wasn't Helge Geraldine Pataki and neither did she ever want to be herself like some of these girls. She was strong, independent and most of the time fearsome and she was aware of the fact that she was more prepared for real life like any of that boobs in school. Hiding behind a bush she slowly walked near Arnold to get a better look of him. Was he sad or desperate? Maybe it was the fact that Gerald displaced him for Pheebs, or the way she acted towards him back at the film when all he wanted to do was being nice.

So life wasn't always fair and nice to her, and the Hellgirl knew all to well that she was making it worse by treating the only one she really loves with the same bad mood most people gave her. It wasn't fair to him, it was't even fair to herself, like pulling small hot daggers inside her own heart it burned every time she treated Arnold that way. She was sure to hurt him, sure that it hurts her as much, if not much more but still, she couldn't get over the fact that he was her only real connection to this world that matters. Without him, without his love or dare she thing it with him rejecting her what would hold herself back in this crazy place.

But what could she do to be sure he loved her right back, to be able to tell him what she wanted to tell him for so long without taking it back once again.

She had tried being nice once, tried to use magic and other stuff that promised her wonders but none of that hat ever worked, even her own crazy plans to ruin his dates with other girls never worked out totally when in the end he w´still wasn't loving her instead of them. But after over all those years, all those tries, what was left that she hadn't tried till now. Like a general in war I was losing one battle after another but I didn't want to give up. One finally victory, one success at least and he would all be mine and forever mine there was no doubt.

What was left that I could try, what hadn't I tried beside forcing him and I knew all to well that wanted to have his love out of his own free will without tricks or not at all. Why couldn't he just realise what I'm feeling and by that starting to feel the same when clearly he hasn't had much more luck in finding himself a girlfriend than I had with him. Maybe I should tlk to Pheebs more often, trying to let her switch some of the secreats he shared with Gerald, cause the more I know about him the more I could be sucsesfull. I was sure to knew more about him than most people besides his family ever whould but whatever he was discussing with his best friend Geraldo could maybe be the key to his lockedup heard one day. Man where supposed to talk about girls and such stuff so he may have told Gerald some important things and he told them to Pheebs who could tell them to me later.


	2. Chapter II: Your Shadow

Disclaimer: Nick and Craig Bartlott own Hey Arnold!

Post FTI, after The Jungle Movie and after The Patakis!

Hey Arnold: Stalker in the Shadows

Chapter II: Your Shadow

The way he sad there on the bench, alone, far away from the mass of people he always loved and cared about he looked almost lost. Like one of the lost boys in Peter Pan actually and Helga smiled a bit at this thought. Like Peter her football headed god never seam to really grow up. Innocent and childish sometimes he refused to see the world for what it really was, for what it always would be a big bad place full of even more bad people. She wasn't unrealistic like him, she did knew well too good what the world could be outside of the rainbow-land in his imagination.

Suddenly it started raining and why Arnold opened his umbrella Helga herself had no such luck. He sad there for a few more minutes, adoring the rain in the park it seamed, then he stood up and walked towards his home. Helga now covered in mutt and dirt from her hiding followed soon after him. For her he never looked more amazing than with an umbrella in the rain, maybe because that was the first thing they ever shared together back as kids. Even his backside looked gorgeous Helga had to admit as he surprisingly turned around, but she jumped behind a dumpster fast enough for him to not notice her. As he walked on she get after him again and while the rain was cooling her skin and body her heart never felt warmer like next to him in the rain.

As Arnold reached the stairs of his house she run to the side street and went up his fire escape to the roof. Her way was faster than his, but inside the rain way more dangerous too. Up on the roof she watched him undressing himself as he lay on his bed and watched TV. Every move he made, every step he take was wonderful in his own special way. Totally ignoring the rain on her skin and clothes, Helga stared down trough the glass the whole evening. As his lights went of she sad there for a few more minutes. He looked a little bit more peaceful when he was asleep if that even was possible. After she got home herself, Helga tossed her wet clothes to the ground and fell to her bed. Her evening was nice after all thanks to him and thanks to him she would have a good night too. It was fascinating how one single human being could en-light the world with his kindness and pure heart for another. The Hellgirl always loved the night for some special reason, there and only there she could be near her beloved like no other time. No logic thoughts or other things where holding her dreams back like her daydreams and thanks to that everything was possible or Dreamhelga and Dreamarnold in her night fantasy.

"6.347 days... 1 hour... 46 minutes... 16 seconds... my inner clock counts. Oh Arnold I want to wake by your side, cause my feelings for you I can not hide. When I'm with you I feel like queen, like six year old me felt in her sweetest dream. I want to lay with you dear, cause I'm dying when you're not here!" Helga mumbled as she woke up the next day. Like sweet morning routine she thought about her dream and her first words again before she wrote them down in one of her poem books. They stood beside the newest vision of her Arnold-shrine, a life-sized doll, a mannequin with a photo of him on his face and the old base-cap he gave her back in San-Lorenzo that was sitting in the Lotus Position surrounded by candles and red light. Getting up at time she had no problem to shower and prepare herself for school before Bob or Miriam would occupy the bathroom.

"Arnold my love dare is say it? Your eyes deep like the ocean, your soul big like universe!" the unibrowed girl said as she lifted the doll, dancing around with it trough her room, like they would tango. "What was that? Yes my love, mumble sweet nothings in my ear!" Helga told the doll as she let herself be embraced by it around her waist, turning her head to the side, trying to kiss it.

"Hey Helga, have you seen my car keys?" Bob asked as he entered his daughter's room looking around for his keys as he sees her dancing with the doll. Wasn't that a picture of hat orphan boy Bob asked herself and looked a little scared at his daughter and the doll as it seamed she was trying to kiss it.

"I'm not going to ask … what a funny-farm!" he shook his head as he turned around and left his daughter to whatever she was doing in there with that doll. To be true Bob really didn't want to know more about it than he had already seen and even that seamed way to much for his poor mind. But as long as it didn't left the house or was bad for his business he was totally fine with pretending it never happened. Not in a hurry this day she still was fast in making herself some lunch food eating and chatting with her family and then she headed off to the bus stop. The next stop was Arnold's and even if she had been there just a few hours ago she felt refreshed as she hide next to his entrance. It was like he was the air she needed to live and every time she saw him was like inhaling a fresh breath. The moments when he walked out of his house where the sweetest, he just looks so peaceful and friendly when he greats the morning sun for the very first time in the day. Like a mirror reflecting it's light and warm shine he just stood there for a few seconds. Did he even realises that he was that amazing when he did these little things. What a bliss to walk after him, inhaling the sweet scent of his body and deodorant carried by the wind.

Like heavens gate opened and unleashed the sweet wind of paradise to her nose that could guide her to the promised land. If cartoons where real she would fly right trough this scent in the air to just let it touch and embrace each and every corner of her own body. The very idea of smelling like him, after they would make out, or cuddle next to each other gave her thrills that even she and her poetry couldn't describe totally. And then he left for the bus, like he was kidnapped by some demonic forces just to be away from her. With her Rollerblades Helga was fast enough to pass the bus on a side road and wait at the next stop as if she stood there for a while.

Thanks to Geraldo and Phoebe who where driving alone to school after their beautiful evening like Pheebs had told her on the phone that night her beloved would take the bus. Starting to tolerate Geraldo Helga had to admit she really liked him, when he was with her best friend. Part of because Pheebs was happy, but mostly cause he couldn't interrupt her ideas and plans for Arnoldo when Pheebs occupied him. Getting on the bus she tried her best to ignore Arnoldo like the rest of teens as she sad in the free place on his bench.

"Hey football head. How's tricks?" she asked calm and like she wouldn't care much.

"Good, Gerald and Pheobe needed some time as a couple so I'm using the bus!" he explained and gave me one of his lovely, magic smiles.

"So Geraldo replaced you with his new love I guess? " I joked sarcastically and he laughed about it. Knowing the boy more than anything else he really liked my sarcasm and wasn't laughing just because he should.

"That's one way to see it!" Arnold chuckled and smiled even more not knowing how it tortured me, how it get me out of all control. Like fire Hellfire this fire in my skin, this burning desire is turning me to sin the Hellgirl mumbled under her breath. Arnold looked a little worried as if he had misheard himself, had sh said that line loud and not just in her head?

"Did you say something Helga?" the gentleman he was he had to ask, of course if he had misheard himself. Excellent, so she could pull it all of without stuttering and getting herself into more trouble.

"Why should I? I'd rather have a root canal than talk to you!" she told him as she crossed her hands before her chest. Arnold just smiled at her and and leaned back in his seat, adding a silent "Whatever you say, Helga!" and said nothing else on their way to school. Arnold how kind and caring you really stay silent if I beg you, oh what an angel, what a saint Helga thought as she eye him from the side when he wasn't noticing. Why great gods am I so cruel, torturing myself by torturing the one and only on in my heard? Why must I punish him with evil words and nasty things when truly I just want to show him how deep and much I care for him? Great fate what could I have done to deserve this tournament, this suffering. When I'm mad at him he is sad, witch lacerate my heart and when I'm friendly but still hide my deep love for him it's even worse. Each smile each waving hand, each blink is driving me crazy like some ancient Neanderthal in head and I just want to give in my lust and emotions holding, kissing and breathing nothing else but you.

Someway it was good like this, without me talking I couldn't call him names or be mean and even if I'm not saying anything, my body speaks for himself. I'm shaking and seating when you touch my hands, I'm nervous and shy when I'm around you. I've fought criminals in the jungles and even here in my own country when I look back at FTI but for all I know I was never angst or afraid back then. I could stand the greatest dangers but when I'm with you my walls break and out of the sudden I'm kind of a princess without a castle. Nothing to protect me, nothing shielding me from the demons and monsters of this world. Maybe because I don't need my castle when my knight in the shining armor is there to protect me from all evil.

Words couldn't describe how much I wanted to hug him as he looked out of the window and he didn't notice I was turning to him and staring at him for a while.

One day in your arms, one day as your wive, god knows I would give everything up to be like that, the devil knows too. But they don't count you are important my football headed angel. What you think what you want, what you dream is important inside my little heard and I just knew you could never love me if I did something wrong. Out of fear you could judge me I always did the right things in my live when I had to chose between good and evil. Maybe you really are an angel, here to guide me trough the worst, letting me decide to give my best to be the best person I could be, maybe that's all it was and ever would be. Thinking about the possibility that it never would be more than this I feared and I could have sworn I heart my heard break a little inside my chest. Like I'm undead I was driving through the day, always focusing on Arnold but ignoring most other things, school the same way as Pheebs as she chatted with me about how great her date witch Geraldo was. On the schoolyard I saw it all in once, the world around me was nothing but a gray area and I was a dark spot inside it like some kind of black hole or empty space but there in the middle stood Arnold, shining like the sun in all colours I could ever imagine. All the grey disappear and the shining colours filled the world as he walked near me, like he truly was a green-eyed god of live creating all beauty of live just by standing there. As he sad beside me he led out a deep breath and seamed to be a bit disappointed. I didn't know why but I was eager to knew why my love was so sad and do everything I could to help him. He didn't say anything like he was still respecting the choice that I didn't want to talk to him, oh what a lovely prince.

"What's bugging you football head?" Helga finally asked, interesting in what could make her one true love so depressed and sad. But to hide her true feelings she fast added another sentence. "I mean not that I'm interested in knowing it's just that it looks like you will pester me silently until you get it out of your system!" she told him and he raised his head to her. That expression was new, like he was sad and happy at the same.

"You knew Helga it's kind of complicated!" he finally confessed feeling a little nervous and shy. Oh know this looks like one of his stupid girl crushes again.

"Well if it's so complicated maybe I'm to dump to listen to it and you should try Pheebs that is if she and Geraldo are ever getting enough of each other!" I told him, totally knowing that I was the smartest girl in class besides my best friend.

"Actually I can't do that because Phoebe is part of the problem!" Arnold told Helga and she stopped in her movements looking at him with a weird expression instead of standing up and ignoring him.

"I must have misheard myself cause it sounded like you told me poor, little, innocent Phoebe did something wrong?" I couldn't believe the words of my beloved I knew he wasn't lying but I also knew my best friend could and would never do something wrong or bad.

"No, Phoebe didn't do something wrong, well not on purpose!" and while he was shyly rubbing his arm, what he ever did when he was nervous sweet Arnold looked back at me.

"It's just that Gerald told me he and Phoebe have planned to spend the whole weekend together … witch isn't bad but now all my plans for the weekend are ruined without my best friend!" by the look on his face I could tell Arnold felt uncomfortable for telling me this thoughts.

"Don't get me wrong I'm happy, truly happy for them it's just that …!" he started to defend his own words, but my hand waving to him stopped him from going on and on about his do-gooder-self. My beloved Saint Arnold shouldn't feel bad for things most people thing about without even giving it a second thought.

"So what you're basically saying is that you're happy for our best friends but you don't like it that you're the third wheel now and that Geraldo is spending more time without you since you used to be like Siamese twins before?" Helga asked totally knowing that he would light up by her sarcastic remark. Arnold giggled and his face was not so sad and unhappy anymore but still not as good as always. As if he saw the goddess in myself the same way I saw him he finally looked at me and his face became more happy and warm than I have ever seen it this day before.

"Helga, you know I consider us friends and since everyone else has plans for this weekend I would like to know If you would hang out with me, maybe watch some movies or DVD and …?" he began. Was this real was Arnold just asking me to spend time with him. I mean with him him and not him and the others, just the two of us. It sounded to good to be true, but then again what would I do when I knew we were all alone together, I shouldn't stop myself from jumping him like a wild animal, for that I was sure. Even now just thinking about all the possibilities I became a nervous wrack like I would snap any minute, ready to move to the funny house. My right eye twitch nervous and I slapped myself to get back to reality.

"And why should I agree to that? Are you suggesting that I have no other friend than Pheebs, or …" I shouted angrily at him. It was breaking me inside but what else could I do without making anything worse for me and him.

"No totally not Helga. I know that you're a good person deep down and Phoebe knows to, otherwise she wouldn't be friends with you. It's just that since my plans with Gerald are out of the window I just thought you had the same problem with Phoebe and by that you had nothing to do anymore this weekend!" his almost shy face made Helga feel butterflies in her stomach and she never could say know to his special smile. Think Helga, thing don't make it look like your overwhelming with you and happiness, she ordered herself fast.

"Maybe I'll humor you Arnoldo, but only ONLY if I have really nothing better to do. You got it Bucko?" Helga agreed and pointed her finger to his chest. Arnold finally looked happy like the poor boy would really go mad if he wasn't around people for one single day and smiled bride as he hugged Helga long and strong.

"Whoa stop there, don't go all mushy on me football head. And if that shit looks anything like a date or something like that I'm out of it, do you understand hair boy?" and with that the Hellgirl pointed to his chest a few times, like she was laying some ground rules or such stuff. Arnold couldn't blame her, most guys his age where jerks only interested in getting into a girls pants and since Helga grew up nicely in his eyes she might have turned the attention of some of these douche bags to herself.

"Totally and I promise you it would look nothing like a date or so. Just two friends hanging out together!" Arnold promised and by that earned a small smile from Helga. On the inside she was sad that he just sees her as a friend, but then again it was more than nothing and maybe it was half way to be his girlfriend one day she hoped.

"Yeah whatever football head. I'll show up at high noon you got that?" as he nodded Arnold couldn't stop thinking of the words she used. After all Helga let it sound like it was some kind of duel to the death while he only wanted to spend more time as friends together. As soon as Helga walked away now she ducked in the janitor clothes as she was on her way back to class. Pulling out her heard-framed locked of her beloved she gently kissed it and hugged it to her heart. She pinch herself just to make sure this all wasn't a dream. It wasn't and only that made her day even more wonderful. One day, no maybe one weekend alone with her beloved was to wonderful to believe it. She had to make sure nothing could interfere these plans, Geraldo and Pheebs where safe, but what about her own Family? They weren't as bad as back when she was a small kid and they worshipped Olga all along, but still it was a better idea to go to Arnoldo, his adoring grandma and grandpa and of course his eccentric but lovable boarders.

Could tomorrow get any more better than this Helga asked herself. Not only did Arnold inside her, she was actually civil with him as they talk, well kind of. At least she didn't jump him or insult him so maybe it was a good start even if it only last a few minutes with them both alone. Instead of her daily routine in stalking Arnold Helga couldn't help herself but daydream in her room after school thinking of all the great outcomes of the next day. Maybe finally she would have the guts to tell him how she feels but than again it was more likely that Aliens invade and conquer earth tomorrow. Without doubt Helga had one of her best sleeps and dreams in years and the poems she wrote that evening where one of the best she ever wrote about the football headed boy.

The next day was Saturday and Helga had set her clock on alarm very early. She wanted to be finished soon so she wouldn't be late for her day with her one and only one. Was she excited, hell yeah! Was she afraid, maybe a little but on top of that all she was filled in a warm glow coming from the deep insides of her her heart. Okay there was his street slow down not so fast he hasn't to see that your running to him. Good slow, calm normal that's the way old girl. Knocking at the door she waited for Arnold to open it but instead his grandmother Pookie was there and greeted her like she always did:

"Eleanor, long time no seen, the president is up in his room if you came to visit him!" sentences like that always made Helga wonder how crazy the old bird really was, or if she knew and realised more around her than most of the other people.

"Yeah well I wanted to see Arnold!" I told her maybe a little too shy for my normal self. But either way she let me in and called out for my beloved so he knew he had a visitor, even if she announced me as Eleanor Roosevelt. As Arnold came down the stairs he really seamed happy that I had come today and greeted me friendly like he always did. Guiding me up to his room, witch still was one of the coolest rooms I've ever seen in my life he asked friendly if I wanted something to drink or eat and what I would want to do. Really Arnoldo, what I want to do? I want to close your door and make out with you, but as much as it sounded like a great plan I just couldn't tell him that out of the blue, let alone tell him I don#t just tolerate but love him instead.

"A little snack couldn't be bad Arnoldo cause I'm kind of starving, but really what I want to do? Don't tell me you didn't plan this day out!" Helga questioned and crossed her arms before her chest looking at him like he did something wrong. Technically he didn't since this wasn't a date and to be true Helga loved that he wanted to know what she wanted to do. Finding things they both would like was just the kind and caring way she loved so much about him.

"Of course I made plans Helga, I just wanted to know if you want to eat a little bit first or first watch a movie, whatever you prefer!" the football headed boy asked. For Helga that alone made her day perfect but she couldn't just stand there and stare at him when he had clearly asked whatever she would like to do now.

"Why don't we do both Arnold? We can grab some stuff and then eat while we watch whatever movie you've got!" Helga suggested and the boy she loved for nearly everything he did just nodded smiling.

"Good, just wait in my room Helga while I'll grab some Yahoo Soda and snacks!" Arnold told her as they reached his door and he opened it so she could go inside his room.

"I can get my own stuff you don't have to carry it all alone!" was the way of Helga to answer that she was thankful but wanted to help in her own special way, but Arnold just shook his head.

"Please you're my guest today so I insist!" he told her friendly, as he guided her to the couch to sit down. Helga did as she was ordered, after all how could she say no to a face like that.

"Fine if you insist Arnold but nothing on the cheap!" the Hellgirl told hm as she lay down on his couch, trying to find a comfortable position to sit on it for a whole movie. It didn't took long for Arnold to come back with two Sodas, some chips and popcorn. Seeing him smile as he placed it all down the table before them she couldn't help but smile back, hopefully not a too lovesick smile Helga worried.

"So what movie do you have in mind Arnold?" I asked as he sad down beside me. Hopefully it would be something romantic, but then again I'm not known for being into that kind of films instead of action movies. So maybe we would see some kind of not lovey dovey movie, probably for the best since I saw enough of that with Olga, but then again there was a chance he really did know me for myself and we could watch something for the heard. Oh what joy would it be watching a film about true and deep love with the person I care and love most on these entire planet, heck even in the entire universe.

"How about "Die Fast and Clean 4" or "Lord of the Kings IV"?" Arnold asked unsure if such action and fantasy movies was something she would like. After all Helga wasn't a normal or every day girl but maybe she wished for other movies that day, so he was unsure about his idea. If she wanted something other he would search for the right film after all he had many DVD's in his room.

"Why not hair boy sounds like fun!" I told him and instantly regret my words. What was wrong with me why was my mouth always faster than my mind. When I wanted to be nice I just insult him, calling him names and such stuff it was almost like Pavlov's reflex to me whenever I see or talk to him, damn. Crazy enough I did it so often these past years he didn't even bother it and feel bad about it like when he was a kid. I was unsure and trying to hide my feelings with it, but that became more and more hard since he just tolerated nearly everything by now. We grew clothes as friends like he calls it when Pheebs and Geraldo started dating and that somehow made it nearly impossible to hold my guard up. My walls where starting to fall apart and to cover that I even became meaner and nastier to him sometimes but that didn't seam to bother him since he still invited me today and was nice on a daily base. Starting the movie, he sat down next to me on the couch and I finally became feeling weird. It was comfortable to be so much near him on that small couch and yet uncomfortable at the same time, a really crazy feeling.

I was stiff like a ancient stone statue and while watching the film Arnold also seamed to notice my behavior. Not even drinking the soda was helping me right now to calm down a bit. He was giving me one of his warm smiles and laughed a little as he saw how stiff I was sitting there.

"I know the old couch isn't really comfortable any more and a bit small too, I'm sorry for that!" he told me thinking that it was his old couch he had since he was a kid that made me uncomfortable. I quickly shook my head and told him it was fine after all I didn't want him to come up with some crazy idea like we both sat on his bed to watch a movie or anything like that. It wasn't that I didn't trust Arnold I didn't trust myself to be true.

Even now on the couch I nearly could touch the tension between us, and even if he didn't notice it I felt it even more. The best thing after telling him that I was comfortable at his couch was to concentrate on the movie I thought. The less I look at him and his gorgeous body and moves the less I could be carried away by my very own fantasies. Strangely as much as I felt nervous these times alone with Arnold was the only time I felt truly peaceful. Die Fast and Clean 4 was a good movie and Ive already seen it a couple of times but why should I tell Arnold that. The movie was distracting my thoughts and that alone made it even better than it was. I felt more and more comfortable any minute and the old couch suddenly felt like a bed of angelic feathers. More and more the weigh of my own eyes seamed to get bigger and finally …

"Hey Helga you're not falling asleep are you?" Arnold asked in his sweet voice as he looked down to me, while I was nearly lying on the couch now. I tiredly wag my head as much as I still could but I was way to comfortable and tired now. My head resting against his shoulder while I look up into his deep blue eyes. The way he looked back at me there was a sparkle in his eyes and he must have seen the same in my. Only inches away from each other our faces get closer and closer until finally. I couldn't believe it, our lips met, we kissed innocent at first but then I could feel his growing desire as he desperate was kissing me with more and more passion. Our tongues wrestled against each other and Helga G. Pataki was no girl to lose a fight like that. Finally out of breath we stopped and I led out a deep breath of pleasure as I rested on his shoulder. Cuddling close to him I felt more loved than ever before, his breath was slow and pleased as mine and I could his great shampoo as well as his own body scent, oh it was to good to be true. …

Slowly my eyes opened again, have I really been falling asleep after making out with my adored love god. Wait something wasn't right the movie wasn't over like before but still running and his arm wasn't resting around my waist but under my body pressed next to his. He felt stiff, nearly frozen and his head was clearly directed to the movie only while his shiver let me realise that he was fully aware that I cuddled next to him. This wasn't the passionate, aggressive Arnold that was so much like me in my dreams, this was the real one, shy, coy and nervous whenever a girl comes closer than hugging. O no no no I have been dreaming and now I was resting on his shoulder. What should I do, what was he doing? Should I pretend to wake up and shout at him for something that wasn't his fault, should I wait for him to move when he was frozen like this. My egoism thicket in and I grabbed him tighter, pulling him next to me while I pretend to be still asleep. After all what danger could be done if he stoops me or tries to wake me up I could just deny anything or say I was having a weird dream, it was perfect. He moved under her, o no was he standing up, getting upset or waking her up Helga feared. But none of that he just positioned himself a little different and to be true I could even realize more like that now that my head was resting a bit more on the soft couch even if his shoulder was very soft too.

Keep it together girl, don't smile to much or he could get suspicious, yeah like that just like you're deep asleep the Hellgirl thought to herself. Don't screw this up Helge as much as I'm a nervous wreck now I'm totally happy and calm for once. But the longer it last, the more the movie got to his end the more I realised you didn't thing this situation to the end Helga old girl. Clearly I couldn't stay like this forever and soon Arnold could get suspicious on his own dense mind eventually. I needed a plan and a good plan too, just making it look like I would wake up wasn't doing it this time. I've walked into dangerous waters by being so selfish and now my secret was in a greater danger than in the last months. First of all distraction always worked on the football head so I silently mumbled something in my sleep. To much a gentleman to listen whatever I was mumbling it was making him uncomfortable just as planned. His movements told me he was getting nervous, maybe afraid I could wake up in that position and so I continued mumbling. Out of nowhere I could feel his hands carefully lifting my head up and had to fight back my warm face from even getting more red. Gently like some hero in an ancient legend he placed me down on the couch next to him, like a hero would do with his princess. Then I felt something over myself and I wanted to slap or kiss my poor boy wonder until I realised it was just a blanked to hold me warm while I was resting on his couch.

Since now was probably the best time to fake it I struggled a bit out of the blanked, slowly closed opened eyes and tried to sound as sleepy as I could. I tried to look confused too as if I wouldn't know where exactly I was and by the look in his eyes he was totally buying it.

"Hm whaat?" I asked looking around a little bit confused to make it look even more realistic. Arnold smiled at me and offered me a hand to lift myself up from the couch as he answered my question.

"You fall asleep during the film Helga!" he said with a friendly face while I looked around a little like I was just realising where I was.

"Yeah well maybe I fell asleep because you are such a boring person to hang out with, no wounder Geraldo spends his time with Pheebs instead of you!" I told him nasty as I slapped his helping hand away and crossed my arms before my chest. Why was I just so mean and bad towards my one true love.

"Watching Die Fast and Clean 4 isn't something I would describe as boring!" Arnold defends himself as he was looking worried towards me. He seemed more sad than mad at my words and kind that he was apologised for nothing at all. And besides the fact that he was blushing red, maybe from my cuddling before he still turned a little more towards dark red now.

"Well maybe I just get a lack of sleep last night!" Helga told him calmly not believing that he was just making excuses for her bad insults and behavior like it really was his fault. The minute she said these words she playfully punched his arm with her fist and Arnold seam to lighten up himself a little, even laughing a small smile now.

"Maybe you want some ice-cream before we start some better and more exciting movie?" the football headed boy asked friendly and a weird look came across Helga's face while her mono-brow frowned.

"I'm complaining about getting bored to sleep and all you come up is ice-cream football head? Now wounder you haven't had a real girlfriend till now!" as the words leave my mound I could've slapped myself but luckily the dense boy wasn't getting the words the way I meant or more likely not meant them.

"That's what I'm starting to change today. We're all mature enough to hang out together as friends even if we're not together with someone of a different gender like we did back at fourth grade!" Arnold started and I totally realised that he didn't get my girlfriend wink the way I meant it. I was talking about Ruth or LI-LA even if the last one wasn't my arch-nemesis since she totally showed no interest in Arnoldo and he didn't like her like he once did anymore. We were far from being close and real friends like me and Pheebs but things where getting better judging by how familiar we where around each other.

"No I thought we could get ourselves some mixed ice-cream from downstairs and then throw some chocolate cookies in it!" the beautiful blond boy told me his idea of making the ice-cream a little more exciting. Since I've never tasted it like that and he was offering the idea I was head over heels in for it and fast nodded. Then I realised I may still be a bit too exited from my teenage dream even if I was lucky to be a girl. Being a little wet could be better covered up without these blankets or just my jeans over me than a totally hard-on a boy could get when I remembered sex ed correctly. That's why I quickly excused myself and used the restroom before joining him again on the floor. So we went down for the kitchen as his grandparents nearly gave me a heard attack. Out of nowhere they suddenly stalked up on us and offered us some prepared fresh backed cookies with the ice and some more chips and popcorn. I thanked them and as much as I liked being here with Arnold and them I couldn't ignore the fact that these two great people have really grown old over the years. Pookie wasn't as agile and fast as she was years ago and even Phil wasn't as steely as he used to be.

Sure Arnold wouldn't be alone in this world once they where gone. He had his parents, his friends and I would be there for him too, always. But you couldn't complain these things to two grandparents as great, funny and sweet as his. Being the optimistic, happy and totally naive boy my beloved Arnold was he would have a hard time when they once were not there anymore. And sadly as I have to admit these thoughts it didn't seam that they would make it for so much more years. Raising Arnold as well as taking care of the whole house and the boarders here at such an age clearly had taking it's costs. While Arnold waited at the stairs for me I quickly returned in the kitchen and hugged both of them fast but caring as I smiled honestly at Phil and Gertie. The crazy old goat gave me a wink and if not his wife than he totally knew that I liked his grandson even if Miles and Stella never noticed it on the few times I was around here with the Gang.

Arnold never knew it and didn't suspect anything as he walked up to his room with me once again but in the fist years of my life as my family was a true disaster his grandparents and these eccentric but lovable boarders always seam like the perfect and wonderful family to me even if they where never like a normal family. Maybe normality was overrated I smiled as we sad down at the couch again and started to eat silently. God only knows that words couldn't describe the taste I got from these crushed cookies pieces in the ice-flavors, it tasted perfectly, not only perfect but totally-perfect-perfect like the way Arnold smelled.

"So what are your hobbies?" Arnold suddenly asked and caught me totally off guard. The spoon hanging loose in my mouth I tried to think of an answer while I was looking at him surprised he would ask such things out of the blue.

"What?" I asked as if I hadn't clearly heard him.

"Well I ever considered us friends but now that Gerald and Phoebe hang out so much I figured we could hang out together too, like friends of course!" he added the last four words fast. "So I thought we could make a little smalltalk to knew each other better. I mean sure we knew each other for nearly most of our lives but still people change!" now it was my turn to turn red again. I just thought about us being together as kids and how things where between us as we dated if you could call it that between two kids.

"My hobbies huh?" I asked back to see Arnold blinking his eyes in agreement. What should I tell him that my nearly only hobby was him, stalking him day and night, that I wrote poetry about him and build shrines. Yeah and the next second he was running up his roof and jumping down the house, great plan Helga. I just had to come up with something he would not believe maybe one of my other not so suspicious hobbies without him involved if i ever had such things in my life.

"I like to paint, photography and write!" I just blurted out. Stupid me all of these things had to do with old Arnoldo next to me. I was taking pictures of him for my looked and later my Poem-Books since he was a little boy. When I write or draw it is always about him and mushy romance stuff but he doesn't know that now so my cover may still be intact.

"Wow that's pretty impressive and sophisticated!" did Arnold really not know how such choice of words did to me deep inside my chest. I mean criminy i was nearly shivering on the outside from it.

"Don't mention it it's nothing Arnoldo!" I tried to change the subject but now right now of all damn times he seamed to be interested in something about me for gods sake.

"Don't say that Helga you always where great in whatever you started!" the teenage boy told me and i nearly laughed at him from all that sarcasm when you complain his words to my plans of winning his love and how they went all out till now. Suddenly he holds my hands as I tried to look away shyly and a little sad.

"Don't do that Helga your a wonderful person whenever you decide to show this side of you'rs to others and you're not just the shadow of your sister for your family either!" he told me in a friendly tone. He truly didn't know that such words only made it more hard and worse for me at moments like this.

"I probably should go now!" I told him cause I just couldn't stand it anymore. The way he was nice and tried to cheer me up was great but it just didn't work he never sees me the way I saw him and the more he tried to be good the more it ripped my heard apart at the moment.

"Did i do something wrong?" he asked worried and lay tried to reach me as I stood up to leave. I looked back and he once again had these Bambie-eyes. I couldn't leave him like this but I couldn't stay anymore either.

"No Arnold I had fun being here it's just that I still have a lot of homework to do this weekend and besides that I need to do a few things in the household for my family!" of course that was a lie since Bob was getting more of a husband and Miriam was sober like when I was a kid I nearly hadn't to do anything anymore. From time to time I offered my help to them but it wasn't like when I was a kid and had to make buy and cook my own food whenever I wanted something to eat.

He looked and me and knew he couldn't stop me from going now, I can see he didn't want me to go now and deep down I never wanted to leave this place either but these intense feelings I had right now could make things worse for him and me. Not knowing why he seamed to understand my decision or at least respect it as he let go of me so I could move out whenever I wanted to.

"I really had fun to!" Arnold finally confessed me with a smile. I wasn't sure If I should laugh or feel sorry for him. Having fun with someone who insults you or sleeps nearly the whole time when you two are hanging out, please Arnoldo even you are not that goodie-two-shoes, or are you.

"No I rally mean it Helga if you want you can come back tomorrow, maybe we could study together so you wouldn't have so much homework to do today. You know besides the household!" he offered to help me at my homework, like studying together just to make sure I would get time for myself beside school and family this weekend. I agreed to that and he guided me downstairs giving me a goodbye hug. At least I could stop him from walking me home too, I knew he was just kind and I knew streets weren't always safe but it was a few hour's before sunset and thanks to daily practise the way wasn't at all that long since I knew many shortcuts from his house to mine and the other way around.

As I arrived home bob and Miram asked me about where I was and with who. Normally they whouldn't care but Bob had seen Pheebs and Geraldo at a shop or so and knew I wasn't with my best friend. Since puberty he was nearly freaking worried about me and what people I meat especially if they were from the other gender. Like any of that morons in school coul'd ever get me on a date, let alone try to force me. They whoul'd have to answer to Old Betsy and the Five Avengers even more since I was now a master in jiu-jitsu. Thinking back to it maybe the Five Avengers wasn't the best name for a hand with four fingers but it has become a trademark evryone knews in school and the block so why change it now.

After letting Bob belive I just stayed at another female friend Lila he then stopped bugging me, asked a little bit iff I had fun and finally let me go to my room. There I finally had the time to thing about all these wounderfull things today, letting them pass my inner eye again and after that write them down in my diary and of all I needed a plan for tomorrow. I totally wanted to see Arnold again even if it whoul'd be as hard as today. Then again what plan could stand the wounderfull football shaped view of my beloved Arnold.

What whould the day brign and what on earth shoul'd I study with my beloved since I totally had done all exercises yesterday after school. Panic begin to rise in me like it rose I the Trojan as they discovered that the big hoarse wasn't just a friendly preasent but a trap.

Some advice from an adould probably whould be good but I couldn't just aks Bob after luing to him and Miriam wasn't a good choice for good aadvice either since she got Bob as her husband. In moments like this I wish I had pearents or grandpearents like my beloved but for now maybe Pheobe whould do it. After all Geraldo wasn't that bad and he was honest, loyal and a true friend for her as well as for Arnold. And they worked good together even if they wee totally opposides much like me and Arnold. What a crazy idea to ask shy and innocent Pheebs for dating advices or advices about boys in general then again desperate minds got desperate ideas and what other choise whould be left. I waited for her to call me that evening after her date was finished but as she didn't call I tried my luck after I thought now whould be a good time cause Pheebs father had trown geraldo out at this time. Lucky for me Pheebs was alone and all to willing to help me as her best friend out. While we both where smart it still costed us some time to figure out a good plan but in the end I was really proud of us. Not so proud of the fact that I once again was luying on purpose to my beloved than the fact that my secret whould be secret. The very idea of him rejecting me alon chould drive me nuts and part of that fear together with my feir our plan could not work was giving me weird nightmares that evening.


	3. Chapter IV: The Wraith Cecile

Disclaimer: Nick and Craig Bartlott own Hey Arnold!

Post FTI, after The Jungle Movie and after The Patakis!

Hey Arnold: Stalker in the Shadows

Chapter IV: The Wraith Cecile

6.348 days... 2 hours... 26 minutes... 17 seconds... I counted but this time it was different. It wasn't my normal count and my inner clock felt more like I heard the ticking of a crocodile while I was Captain Hook. I feared the seconds and ticking afraid that the minute comes closer when my secret would be revealed to Arnoldo.

Maybe I could fake an illness but to be true I wanted to visit him, spent time with him more than every other thing in the world. I was torn apart between my fears on the one and my hopes and wishes on the other side. It would be wrong to lie to my beloved and it would hurt to not be near him today, but yet my secret would be safe for now. The minutes passed as I lie on my bed and thought about the possibilities. Come on Helga your not an idiot think about something good and smart. Unlucky for me I just couldn't do it, my longing to be near him was greater than all of my fear, at least greater than any fear beside confessing my own deepest and true feelings for him towards his face.

As I walked towards his house after showering, teeth brushing and putting on my best clothes I just realises that my fear of disappointing him and letting both of us spend our weekend alone was much bigger than my fear of hiding my biggest darkest secret. Oh who am I kidding I was filled with you until I nearly burst, even Bob and Miriam got suspicious when I was so happy this morning at the breakfast. Alone the thought of Arnold made my heard beat faster so what on earth was I thinking that I could spend a whole day with him again without turning it into a disaster like yesterday again? I was crazy to even think I could do this. Turning around on the stoop of the boarding house I was about to run home as the door opened and I froze right there.

"Helga you're early!" I heard a family voice, of course it was Arnoldo, who else would it be. I turned back to him and fake a smile like I was actually happy to be here. Funny enough he looked happy so I guess he really wasn't lying as he told me he had fun hanging out together yesterday.

"What do you know Arnoldo seams like my alarm is tricking me again, maybe I should get Bob buying a new one!" the unibrowed girl joked around to hide her own nervous panic as her faked smile turned into her typical laugh. It was a evil, nearly maniac laugh but Helga didn't do it on purpose or because she really was mean it was just the way she laughed from the deeps of her soul.

"Well I don't mind Helga. The earlier you're here the more time we can spend together!" Arnold said as he invited the girl inside with a gesture and a friendly smile. For Helga it was clear he was a God an Angel at least cause no single human being could be that optimistic, friendly and happy in this world unless he totally lost all sense of reality. So he was strange and unrealistic but it was this never give up behavior in him that Helga adored mostly in this big bad world. Little did she knew that he once wanted to give up at FTI but her phone call has given him the hope he still could do everything to stop Scheck.

"Why not after all it would be stupid to walk back to my house now!" the girl joked nervous and followed her secretly beloved inside. As always he asked Helga if she wanted something to drink or eat it was just an Arnold thing to do. Not hungry after she just ate back at home and made breakfast Helga just asked for some juice to drink.

"Doi Arnoldo I can carry my own orange juice!" Helga told the boy as he was carrying both glasses towards his room in the attic. Sure she loved whenever he was a gentleman but sometimes he just overdid it. Also she couldn't stand calm and focused if he was charming like that so she had to stop him before her own joy of adoring him took control thanks to his behavior. Unthinkable of what she could do to him if she wouldn't stop him let alone now, when there where just the two of them together in his room. While Arnold counted a few things for them to do as a list of suggestions Helga was chewing on her bubblegum to avoid direct talking for as long as possible and also to calm herself down. It was helping but since this was two friends hanging out she couldn't avoid talking to him totally. She also had to pick out one of the ideas Arnold has counted for them to do. Wasn't he wonderful always caring about others and that they feel good, he and his feelings always comes second and even if she loved this side on him Helga was eager to let him decide what they should do so he would be happier today even if she didn't like his choice much. What is she thinking every activity with her football headed god could just be great like watching Wrestlemania or even better fight some Looser like they did in Wrestlemania.

"So how is school Helga?" he asked and the look on his face made it clear that he didn't know what else to talk about. Great was I that boring or was he still that naive and dense.

"Are you kidding me Arnoldo we sea each other every day at school!" the girl asked clearly interested to know why he was asking such random stuff all of the sudden now.

"Yeah I know but we don't really talk inprivate there, we barely chat when Gerald and Phoebe are ignoring us!" my heard stopped, was he really thinking about our own little chats that way. Was it even mean towards me or did he wanted to change it. Was he even complaining or was it just a observation about how stuff usual was between us at school.

"What do you mean football head?" Helga asked because she wasn't sure how he meant his words exactly. So asking him seamed the best way to avoid a misunderstanding at this very moment.

"I mean we could talk more, get to know each other even better and develop being better friends by that instead of just chatting a little random!" he explained his idea. Of course Saint Arnold didn't mean it in a bad way, of course he was thinking of one way or another to connect with me on a better level, wouldn't be my Arnoldo if he wouldn't try it. I nodded in understanding and gave him a small smile as he was looking nervous that I maybe have interpreted his words the wrong way.

"As long as it doesn't come out as another Bromance like you and Geraldo have. Wouldn't want poor Phoebe to get more jealous of me case you stole her boy and her best friend!" I told him sarcastic. Sarcasm my very own way to light me up and cover stressful situations and it still worked perfect. He laughed loudly and I wasn't sure if it was for me being really funny or if he just realised that he and Gerald really had some kind of bromance going on.

"Yeah we wouldn't want Phoebe to worry about you too after Gerald's heart is split between me and her already!" Arnold said now totally into our little fun about his Bromance and we laughed so hard about it all our stomachs hurt.

"No I'm sure she couldn't stand loosing me to you too!" I joked and he suddenly looked desperate and sad. Had I used the wrong words, had I overdone the fun too much I asked myself as Arnold looked bashful.

"Did Phoebe say anything that I would bother her relationship with Gerald because I ask him so often If we could hang out like in the old times?" the dense little boy asked already afraid again he was doing something wrong with his kind and friendly nature. Poor poor Arnoldo always overreacting when he shouldn't and never noticing what was right before him, like my overwhelming undying love for him.

"Arnold, Arnold, Arnold …" I shook my head in disbelief "Don't twist your pants I was just joking. Pheebs never told anything bad about you and never would. Who even could talk bad about Saint Arnoldo?" I asked him and looked like the idea was so foreign it would never cross my mind. In reality I often thought bad about him and his stupid football head whenever he was in love with another Bimbo some of these stupid Boobs and not me. Was was there so heard to see I acted all mean and bad because in reality I was just a shy and lonely girl looking for affection and his love in particular. He looked relieved as if I had just given him absolution for the seven deadly sins or something like that.

"Absolution be upon you!" Helga joked as she make the sign of the cross towards him and smiled at the boy beside her on the sofa. Absolution was nothing she could ever hope for having these thoughts about him even if he was just sitting there. Why couldn't Arnold once act like a normal hormone driven teenager she asked herself. Yes it wouldn't be Arnold anymore but just for one day, even if he never remembered it she could carry the sweat memory of them being together and making out carry on to the last existing days of her soul.

But life wasn't easy or like in her wishes Helga had realised so many years ago, even if that never stopped her from dreaming on.

"We should have hang out together along time ago!" the football headed boy said and admitted that he was having fun.

"We did!" I told him without realising that the only time we hang out as real friends like this was when he and I had been a pair back as kids. Realising this Helga cursed her words as soon as they came out of her mouth once again. Slowly fearsome she looked with one eye to her side to see if and how Arnold reacted to this. He had turned his head away from her and was staring at the ground.

"Yes, but that didn't work out so well!" he said bitterly remembering how he and Helga did break up after they had been one, maybe the most happy couple in our whole school. He sounded upset and hurt and just as I stretched my hand out to touch his shoulder he talked again.

"It was selfish of me to leave all my friends and my family here to live with my parents in the jungle I now realise that when I think back!" he told me and I was for once unsure of how to react to that. Here he was my beloved wonderful Arnold, the most kind and caring guy in the world telling me that he thought living with his parents after not seeing them for nearly all of his life was a selfish decision towards his friends and family in Hillwood.

"I don't think you have been selfish back then!" Helga started to convince him that he wasn't half as bad as he thought about it. Sure she had been heart broken as he left and sure she was strongly hurt by that. Then again in her early life her family was the worst and since Arnold never had a real one either she could strongly feel why he made his decision to meet and life with his parents back then even if it hurt her feelings very much in the first time.

"I mean you haven't seen your real family ever don't get me wrong your grandparents are boss and so but I just thing you wanted to life the life of a normal kid for once!" while she said this Helga finally realised that she hasn't not only not been really mad at Arnold for leaving her, but that she deep down never questioned his decision but instead could understand it out of her own family experience like maybe only a few people ever could.

What confused her the most at this very moment was the fact that she wasn't sure if he also was sorry about breaking up with her back then. Knowing Arnoldo he had done it so she wasn't forced to stay alone on a long-distance relationship while they nearly never sea each other for the next few years. Maybe her beloved really was sorry for breaking up with her too, maybe that was just wishful thinking the unibrowed girl wasn't really sure witch idea in her mind she should believe.

"Maybe you're right Helga, maybe I …!" Arnold began as Helga cut him off and interrupted him. After all they where here today to have fun together, not to blame himself for long done decisions.

"Maybe you should stop whining football head cause I'm clearly not here to hear you snivel about what could have been!" Helga told him and tossed Arnold one of his game controllers before she turned on his H-Box. Arnold just smiled at her as she started a racing game. He thought about how funny it was that Helga never a friend of much and kind words, every time knew what words where the best to support someone or to help him get in a better mode, like some kind of magic spell. Totally forgetting about his earlier problem Arnold relaxed more and more as he was challenged by Helga who was really good. Whenever it had something to do with typical man sports, weather it was baseball, racing or other stuff either in reality or a game like this she could easily out-rival any boy at any time. So Arnold had to try hard to even challenge her a bit and by that was totally focused on the game instead of his self-doubt about long past decisions. They laughed, they talked and before he could even count it Helga had won more than ten times in a row.

"That'll teach you not to mess with the one and only Helga G. Pataki ever again!" the Hellgirl told the boy as she celebrate her triumph over him. Arnold just wondered how much she hasn't changed at all as she stood up and jumped up and down on his couch in happiness.

"I would never think of messing around with a Pataki!" the boy told her. He could be referring to Bob, Helga thought and didn't know that the same words where once told her beloved from his best friend. Gerald then had meant all Pataki at once as he was mad about one thing Helga did after Bob just screamed at him the other day for throwing a ball in his backyard. As much as Arnold agreed on Bob at this words he was always sure that Helga was not like her father at all deep down inside.

"Damn right and don't you ever forget that Hair-boy!" the young women told Arnold as she grinned at him evilly. Suddenly he hugged her and Helga wasn't sure why or how to react to that at all.

"Thanks a lot!" Arnold said smiling at her with a big grin. "What for bucko?" she asked pushing him off her as her face turned red from embarrassment. He just smiled at her wondering if she really didn't know what she all was doing for him whenever he expected it at least.

"For being one of my best and oldest friends!" he smiled and still didn't let full go with his hands of her arms. On the other side the Hellgirl felt uncomfortable for being so close and near him so she pushed him off again till he finally didn't hold her anymore.

"Well maybe your do-gooder-act is finally rubbing off on me who knows!" she told him with a questioning look that said it was a bad thing.

"Wouldn't be so bad!" Arnold joked and shoved her a little back in her direction.

"Hell no, I can live without a football shaped head !" Helga told him in a loud voice with a shocked face. "Weird enough that I have a unibrow, a potato nose and billy goat ears!" she told him half joking half desperate about the fact that she never looked anything like the beautiful and cute other girls at all. With that she took of her beanie, unlock her ribbon from her pigtails and let her hair loose to show her ears.

"It could be worse, you could look like Curly with his new weird look!" Arnold said her knowing that finally Curly had a hairstyle that totally matched his weird personality.

"Thanks a lot Arnoldo except for one little fact!" she said furious standing up and pointing at his head with her index finger. "CURLY IS A BOY!"

"Sure but if you ask my opinion girls look better than boys!" a smiling Mister Shortman Junior told her and laughter funny at his own point.

"Good that that's settled so Pheebs doesn't have to worry about Geraldo anymore!" Helga agreed with a little smirk as she let herself fall back in the couch again and relaxed. Arnold assent with a giggle and finally Helga realised how near she loll next to him. Should she move away or would that look like she was uncomfortable next to him, no he could think he smelled or even worse. Should she move at all or wait for him to move away if he was objectionable with her position so close to him. Nervous Helga waited but nothing happened, her beloved didn't dare to move a small bit away even if their jeans nearly touched each other. Was it just a Arnold-thing to show respect and avoid her feeling uncomfortable by him moving or did he really had nothing against it at all. The question was making her nervous nearly eating her alive and made Helga herself feel uncomfortable at her position now. Well when Arnoldo didn't move away why should she Helga thought and finally decided to stay in her position. After what seamed to last forever Arnold stood up and walked towards his cupboard to look for a goof movie to watch he turned around to ask his guest what she wanted to see.

"Any ideas what you want to …" Arnold asked and looked like he saw a ghost. His mouth gape at Helga in disbelief and he needed a minute before he was finally moving again. Clearing his throat he finally added "… see?"

What the hell was going on Helga asked herself not understanding his weird behavior as Arnold turned around fast and pretended to look for a good movie. Insecure Helga looked around her to see if he could have looked at something behind her but no such luck. She knew she wasn't cute or beautiful but was it really that worse. A look in the mirror on his opened closet door answered her question quick. Her hair still lose without the beanie and the pigtail ribbons was falling wild over her face and shoulders. She looked like once on her first perfect day with Arnold their first Valentine even if It had been in disguise, she looked like Cecil once again after all these years. When they became a pair for the short time he lived in Hillwood after they rescued his parents she had told him much but not everything. Cecil was one of the few things she never told him about, most of the fact she never wanted to destroy their fragile relationship right after it started as she found her lost shoe in a box full of important stuff he really cared about under his bead.

To reveal that she was Cecil and let him heartbroken for so long could be even worse than to confess she still loved him her mind panicked. Arnoldo seamed worried to, the way he turned around so fats the way he fast avoided eye contact after he said the last word was clear to understand. Should she say something, try to act like nothing happened? After all he had never figured it out until now and poor dense Arnoldo could just think it was the trick of his own eyes. Yeah Helga ol' girl that can work as long as you act like nothing at all happened and he just was weird out of nothing.

"So found anything good to watch yet?" she asked as she walked up to him and his DVD collection and looked interested at it after she had wipe most of the hair out of her face again.

"Yeah good to watch …" he nodded and looked at her staring for a few seconds making her feel weird again. "… I mean sure, he he good movies to watch here!" as he gestured specific towards a few movies on the left.

""Galactic Darkness" or "Third Earth" are great!" he told me pointing towards some Science Fiction movies on the left. "Or we could see "Gone with the Heart" or "Love conquers ALL"! if you prefer that kind of movies?" Arnold asked towards me. Oh joy oh wonderful fate me, Helga G. Pataki and my beloved watching a romantic love movie together at least. Wait a minute after what happened yesterday when he thought I was asleep this could be dangerous and dangerous isn't good I have to cover my greatest secret.

"Well I've seen enough of that mushy stuff when Olga and Lila team up to go on my nerves!" the girl confessed that her sister Olga and her Little Sis Lila where still good friends since they started to hang out together in that Big Sis Little Sis Program.

"Lila? That are great news it's good to know they still are such good friends!" he smiled at Helga. He was always happy for others when they had good times and he hasn't had that much contact with Lila or Olga since he moved back to knew more about their constant friendship.

"Whatever! Well if you really want to see such girly-girl movies we could watch them but I tell you it's a dump idea!" the girl told Arnold but in reality she wanted nothing more than to see a totally unrealistic but heart-breaking love movie with him like the two movies he mentioned.

"Like all the other dump ideas I ever head and you trusted me enough to let them work?" the football headed boy asked, not only referring to the thanksgiving they spent together at Mr. Simmons but on many other circumstances as well.

"I also have movies like "Un-Undead" or "Zombania", they are scary and funny at the same time if that's more like it!" the boy smiled as he counted a few other horror-comedy movies he had in his collection.

"Since you're the football headed god of dump ideas I will trust you on it!" Helga told him and bowed before him like he was some kind of god she prayed to.

"Whatever you say, Helga. Whatever you say!" he told her once again smiling in a to familiar voice for her.

"Oh no no no, whatever you say, my great football headed god Arnoldo!" the girl told him smiling and bowed again a few times.

"Then prepare the ceremony of the football headed watch of "Deep Affections" my follower!" Arnold joked like he was really some kind of god ordering his believers around. The green-eyed had once followed him like this but he believed now it was just for the fun. He didn't know that for Helga it was all to real, that she really worshipped him on a abnormal level and sometimes payed to him and the things he stood for. Even if she was one of the strongest and stubborn girls she goes wacky as he ordered her around like that. Helga wouldn't mind if he really meant it and ordered her around like she was a worshipper cause in fact she really was and if her beloved would start a sect or religion she as the first to convert, heck she would be his prophet if he allowed her to be it.

"As you wish my Arnoldo, oh football headed god!" Helga joked really happy that she once could call him like she did in her dreams and he wasn't suspecting anything because he started it as a joke. So she started the TV and inserted the Deep Affections DVD in pure you. This could be one of her greatest days ever, watching a love movie with her secret love and he was totally calm and relaxed about her calling him her god. Also she had called him HER Arnoldo and he didn't say anything against it this was great Helga thought happily.

"Don't mind if I ask but why do you have girly mushy movies hair-boy?" she questioned now that she thought about it. Only girly-girls like Li-la or Ol-ga normally watched movies like that that was weird. On the other hand he and Gerald where really close and Arnold was way to nice and caring for a normal man, oh Lord no he couldn't be … NO stop now, Helga don't even think about it. The thought was scandalous to say it in Rhondaloyds words and after all her beloved Arnoldo wasn't Eugene or Mr. Simmons, no no no he has had a few crushes on girls before so it was totally to even think about it Helga thought, but just to be sure she could watch his reactions to the movie secretly. Thanks to Olga-Lila Sleepovers she knew all to well when and where girls get exited at this kind of movie and how they reacted so she could be sure on the shocking theories the way her beloved would react to it.

Yep great plan Helga old girl just stay calm and try to find out if the boy you love the most is gay by watching a girly movie he suggested. That is totally ridiculous he wouldn't be like that he shouldn't be like that he totally couldn't be like that. She always wanted his love out of his own free will without any tricks or force but then again what options did she have left if he could be that way. Oh no Helga G. Pataki would never give up that easily after being obsessed with him for nearly all her live never ever you hear that Fortuna she thought shaking he fist in the air.

"Helga is everything okay?" the young man asked as she waved her fist towards the sky above them, confused what about she could be angry now and if this movie maybe really was nothing she likes to see but agreed just because she was his guest after all.

"If you don't want to watch this or any movie at all we could still …" Arnold tried to suggest a compromise satisfying for both sides as Helga shouted at him: "Are you gay?"

There was a long pause between the both teens after that. As Helga looked embarrassed from her own words and said nothing but instead stared at Arnold wide eyed and Arnold looked nearly as shocked back at her.

"Where did that came from? I mean you wouldn't think less of me if I liked boys right?" the boy with the football head asked nervous and even a little upset as he stared in her direction.

"OH MY GOD!" Helga said slowly and stood up to get space between him and her totally looking like she had just seen the devil himself.

"Come on Helga never thought you where one of that persons!" he told her with scared look as he stood up and wanted to touch her since Helga really seamed stressed and totally terrorized even with fear in her eyes.

"Don't you touch me!" she ordered him as she slapped his hands away. Turning around Helga grabbed for her clothes and sounded totally agitated. What Arnold couldn't see was that she was having tears in her eyes as she was about to run away from him once again in her life, maybe this time forever.

"HELGA I'm not gay damn it. But what's your dang problem with gay people?" he shouted at her not caring about that the other boarders or his family might hear him now. Arnold always thought that Helga was a kind, friendly and understanding person deep down, that she was tolerant towards others even if she couldn't stand some people she would never judge them for personal issues like that.

"Did … did you just curs?" she asked in totally disbelief as she turned around, her eyes red from holding back tears. Arnold seamed excited and angry at the same and she was about the same when all they wanted to do was watching a nice romantic movie together. Now she hat totally done it despite being a total pessimist she would have believed more in world peace than in Arnold randomly cursing about something like that. She couldn't believe it what had she done to her beloved, she was bringing out the worst in him whenever possible, she was bad for him and bad for his character she loved so much deep down she finally realised.

"I'm only human Helga!" the optimistic boy told her trying to calm himself as he was trying to figure out what was happening just now and why it even happened.

"And I'm your friend so would you please tell me what your problem is with same-sex love?" he asked gently as his hand was reaching out for her again. He was unsure of what to do because he knew Helga's father Robert aka Big Bob who even called him Orphan may have raise her to have something against gay and other people, thinking about it Helga never liked Gerald that much and that always was sad. Sure Gerald never liked her back but Helga gave him a reason with her behavior from back in pre-school till today. Thinking about it Bob was never tolerant and understanding towards anyone or anything at all not himself or anything else that worked no like he wanted it.

Helga at the same time was happy that he rejected being gay but felt uncomfortable now that her beloved maybe thought she could have something against same-sex love. For an all-do.-gooder like Arnoldo that could be something shattering pushing her in the same direction like Wolfgang and other jerks like that he never wanted to be friends with. But what could she do to clarify the situation without letting the bomb explode that she was deeply in love with his weird shaped head and everything he did or stands for. Easy old girl stay calm don't panic and come up with a good excuse she ordered herself.

"What if I have something against people like that huh Arnoldo? It's disgusting and after all it's a free country I can like and hate whoever I want!" she told him angry mostly because she didn't want to say something stupid like that, but her scary mind couldn't come up with another cover up that fast. Arnold couldn't believe it has mistaken his own judgement in people so much at someone he knew for so long. That couldn't be or could it he questioned himself like he never had before with his decisions on judging people. His hand over his mouth to shocked to say anything she struggled free of his grip and looked at him with angry and teary eyes.

"Maybe you're right you should go now!" he told her and with that Arnold did something he never did before in his life. He ordered someone out of his room not for bad behavior but for his opinion. Helga grabbed her things and headed out angrier than he had ever seen her before in his life.

"I'll hope I never see your football headed face ever again!" she shouted as she slammed the door behind herself and was gone. He could hear the Hellgirl storm down the stairs and slamming the front door of the house too. He hadn't look out of his window to knew she was angry storming down the street. He was totally confused, unsure if he had reacted right or if he had just done something really wrong now. Helga had agreed to come over and once again the situation escalated fast. It was unbelievable like they were fire and fuel towards each other even if they tried to be nice and friendly. Maybe they weren't meant to be friends after all maybe he hasn't the ability to help everyone when they needed it, maybe all his good intentions just worked out until now out of dumb luck. What had he thought it wasn't like him to push out a friend like that, it wasn't like him to do that to anyone about an arguing even the less Helga one of the persons he normally trusted and know for nearly all his life, even considered her to be his friend. Feeling like a total jackass he thought about going after her but until now she would be home for sure so he could wait till school tomorrow if he wanted to talk about her. To be honest towards him self he also needed time to process the situation now and to thing about what had gone wrong and so would she.

"Stupid me, stupid pride, stupid fears!" Helga sniffed sadly as she was looking down the bridge over the Skookumchuck River towards her own reflection in the water. She finally realised how frustrated and sad she made Arnold on a daily base when she just wanted to be happy with him, she also did the same to her family even if thy showed the affection she missed so long towards her after all. Maybe it wasn't the world around her that was crazy, maybe it really was her after all she thought. But what could she do about it Arnold would never love her back if she was insane. Her family was not competent enough to help her and even Pheebs wasn't wise enough to help so Helga walked to the only person she trusted enough with her problems and secrets.

"Helga what are you doing here at my home on the weekend no less?" a surprised Dr. Bliss asked as the young teenager stood outside of her door, ringing the bell until sh finally opened. She looked cold since her jacked was only tossed over her shoulder and she looked troubled and if she had just cried. The Hellgirl tried to say something but just could cry more as Dr. Bliss asked her inside in a friendly tone. She followed her to the living room and thanked her psychologist for the tissues.

"Please tell me what happened Helga?" Dr. Bliss asked looking really worried towards the girl, after the years the two of them knew each other better and sometimes even saw each other outside if their therapy sessions and grew really close.

"Now I've done it for real, he hates me I'm a total basked case a crazy insane girl!" Helga cried on and it was hard for Dr. Bliss to get every word between her crying.

"So this is about Arnold?" the older women asked curious and earned a strange look from the younger one.

"Who else could it be around Doc? I pray I sleep I breath just for him everything I do is about him and I'm finally snapping I'm going INSANE now that he hates me!" Helga told her psychologist as she stood up and screamed, walking around in the room and kicked a chair.

"Helga I'm sure the chair hasn't done anything wrong and If you could just relax and calm down you could tell me what happened and we can find a solution for your problem together!" Dr. Bliss offered friendly and gestured towards the chair so Helga could sit and calm down.

"Calm down? CALM DOWN DOC? Do you know how serious this is? My whole life is turning upside …" Helga screamed in fear and anger, crying and totally jitter as everything went blank and black around her and she fainted.

Not sure how much time had passed Helga awoke sitting in the chair Dr. Bliss offered her before. She had a cold washcloth over her forehead that was cooling her down and her old friend Dr. Bliss looked down at her with a worried look.

"Do you feel a little better now Helga?" she asked afraid that the girl could hyperventilate once again and touched her shoulder carefully. The unibrowed girl nodded and thankfully grabbed for the tea that Dr. Bliss offered her to drink.

"So what exactly did happen between you and Arnold today?" the psychologist asked with a warm smile and sit on the next chair to give Helga some space so she didn't feel to much forced or pressure from her to say anything at all. Finally after some long silent minutes Helga started the story. Calm at first she spoke faster and faster the more she came near the cursed event of misunderstandings that forced her to scream at her one true love. As Helga started to cry again her friend embrace her to give her comfort and to calm her down again.

"Helga don't worry to much I'm sure Arnold will understand it all!" Dr. Bliss tried to tell her the situation was just half as bad as she thought it was.

"No he won't Doc he's to dense to figure out I love him since over ten stinking years I mean come on even a lemon could have figured it out by now!" Helga told her sad. It was unbelievable that the football headed was that much stubborn and ignorant about one certain thing in particular. Like a riddle wrapped up in an enigma the boy who could understand everyone and every emotion of the people around him could read anything but her. It was like a joke a damn absurd joke from some god there was no other excuse for so much denseness in one person.

"I man really even Stinko would have figured it out by now if I was obsessed about him and not Arnoldo it's almost as if he doesn't want to see what's right before his eyes!" the young girl screamed angry at herself and her beloved at the same time once again, frustrated about how her live, most of all her love-life was working out now that she finally became a young adult.

"Maybe it's not meant to be Helga, maybe you should finally move on!" Dr. Bliss questioned as one of the many opinions of how to solve the problem. She said the words carefully because she knew Helga for that long and she was sure that she could snap and hurt people without really thinking about what she did until it was to late sometimes when she really got angry. She knew Helga would never hurt her but that would not stop her from demolition her interior when she got mad.

"WHAT?" the Hellgirl questioned in a angry voice as she grabbed the collar of the older woman in anger. "If that's your advice maybe you are the crazy one of the two of us!" she creamed at Dr. Bliss as once gain tears formed in her eyes.

"I'm not ordering you to do so Helga I never could force you to do so, but I needed to knew your reaction to that idea!" her psychologist told her calm and friendly as she slowly removed the girls hands from her collar.

"This obsession about Arnold is going out of your hands. It's clear that you don't want to lose him as much as you don't want to be rejected from him but you're not nine years old anymore!" Dr. Bliss told her in a friendly way and Helga nodded in total agreement.

"But the way you bury you'r passion for Arnoldo can get dangerous for him, for yourself and others. I'm sure you are losing your ability to control it at this point!" the older woman analysed remembering everything she knew and Helga just told her about the newest twist of events.

"You have to change yourself Helga or you Arnold and even other people could get hurt from this and I'm not speaking of just mental health!" she told the younger women as her best advice. It was time to call it a day and decide witch way she wanted to go on now for the rest of her life.

"What do you mean that I should let him go, that I'm ready for the madhouse or some pill medication?" a vexed Helga asked unsure of what to think and feel anymore.

"No Helga but you have to stop lying to Arnold and yourself. I once told you that you can wait and tell him when you feel ready but the situation you're in too tells me that you are ready but you are so used to the way things are that you don't want to admit I or even try it. That's why you keep having these daydreams even if you don't want them and that's why you act like that even if you didn't want to. The wonderful girl I knew is screaming for help deep inside you and want's to break free and at this moment you're more dangerous to her and your feelings than every rejection of Arnold ever could be. I know you're afraid of how he could react but when you're avoiding the fact that you have to get the courage to tell him soon you may never get it at all. The decision you make now in your collage years will guide your road through your whole life Helga. You can decide to run away again or you can face your fears and nightmares once and for all don't matter what the consequences are. Given the current situation the last opinion could be in your best interest!" Dr. Bliss told her while Helga just nodded silently and seamed to think hard about her advice.

"It's up o you Helga you can avoid it again and maybe never tell Arnold or you could begin to restart and try to go towards him, even if it's just on little steps at first. Start being friend to him, like you start to walk before you try to jump and remember the most important think!" the psychologist told her in a very serious tone.

"And that would be?" the young girl asked unsure of what Dr. Bliss was referring to at the moment.

"Every relationship starts out with a credit of trust that can never be fully repaired if it is once broken. If you want Arnold to love you one day and if you want it to last longer and better than for example the relationship Miriam and Bob share than you have to stop lying not just towards him but to yourself too. If you do so all your topical problems will disappear out of their own!" the psychologist told Helga as her final advice and thanks to that earned a big hug from the younger woman.

"Thanks Dr. Bliss thanks for everything you saved my day!" the blond girl told her happily, hugged her again and drank the rest of her tea before she got up and wanted to go home.

"No problem Helga and now it's your duty to save the rest of your life!" the older women told her with a happy smile before she added "Oh and Helga!"

"Yes?" the younger girl asked as she turned around one more time.

"That's $50 for this session!" Dr. Bliss said dryly as she looked straight to the girl who was looking back at her not saying anything or moving at all. Finally both women burst out laughing and the older women wished Helga a nice day after she escorted her to the front door of her house. Of course the older woman was just kidding and that alone let Helga smile a little bit too.

The way to her home was long and alone at least that's what it felt like for Helga, like she was wandering through the Carpathians all on herself. She didn't recognise all the other people in the big city of Hillwood at all her mind just wandered about the questions in her head and the unsolved problems that were connected towards them.

Bob and Miriam greeted her friendly even if Bob asked why she came home this late in the evening. She told him that she was at a friend and walked towards her room in a melancholy mood. Was it really better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all or was it just a stupid saying she questioned herself. A knock on her door snatched her out of her thoughts and her fathers voice could be heard as he opened the door to speak.

"Helga I forgot some teen called Alfred wanted to talk to you on the phone I told him you weren't there!" Bob told her and Helga was sure it was Arnold and not someone called Alfred, after all she knew no one with that name.

"Arnold?" she asked in a high voice and her big eyes and red face made Big Bob Pataki suspicious as he raised a eyebrow at her.

"Yeah that's his name he sounded upset and worried. Is there something I should know?" her father asked with the family concern he had developed over the last years.

"What should you want to know? There's nothing wrong with Arnoldo or me so don't worry about nothing that isn't there at all!" she told him so fast that it sounded like one word and not a whole sentence and the way her voice sounded made Bob worried even more.

"You're not pregnant are you girl?" Bob asked with a worried expression but a more surprised and stunned than angry "Dad!" washed this fear away.

"Well I'm just asking!" her dad said as he rubbed his neck not sure what to say next. "Well if you need someone to talk Helga or some advice feel free to come to me and Miriam!" he offered her and turned around closing the door behind him slowly as he looked back one more time to make sure his girl was alright.

"Oh and dinner is ready in half an hour so if you want something to eat come downstairs then!" he told her and could hear a silent "Sure Dad!" from his daughter. Something surely was wrong Bob know but his daughter was as stubborn as him so forcing her to tell anything would just make things worse. When the time was right or she really needed his advice or that of her mom she would come around on her own Bob hoped. Poor girl he thought since he had totally pass his ears, nose and unibrow to the poor girl so he hoped that she wasn't teased by some bimbo chicks or losers at school about it. Olga once has had the same problems as a teenager even if she just had his thick eyebrow back then Bob remembered.


	4. Chapter IV: The Phantom of Hillwood

Disclaimer: Nick and Craig Bartlott own Hey Arnold!

Post FTI, after The Jungle Movie and after The Patakis!

Hey Arnold: Stalker in the Shadows

Chapter IV: The Phantom of Hillwood

6.349 days... 13 hours... 46 minutes... 5 seconds... and Arnoldo seams still mad at me we even avoided each other at school. Wrestlemania didn't help and even if I followed him on every step secretly it wasn't like before anymore. What was worst was that I saw my football haired angel with another women that day. Lana Vail that ugly all grown up demon always asking my Arnold for favors and being the saint he is he always helped her even if he clearly feels uncomfortable around her. Funny how he knows that older women has a crush on him and not notices the same about me that dork.

I knew her look knew her desire I see it every day in the mirror and now she just randomly asked Arnold to help her randomly while she is refurbish her apartment, sure sister. Luckily for poor Arnoldo I was there to watch him and the witch. Oh I knew Arnoldo has had a weakness for liking older women so I was alarmed since I first saw her and her evil intentions. No one get's in the way of Helga G. Pataki and her beloved, not Bob, not anyone and more than that no Lana Vail. I'll watched her steps to make sure she didn't get anything near him or spend to much time with him, I even called in disguise to keep her occupied on the phone and ringed her bell from time to time. It wasn't easy to avoid getting caught but nothing Helga Pataki couldn't do. I was mad at that witch not only did she steal Arnold's attention but also tried to steal his heard to and totally ruined my daily routine of stalking and worshipping Arnoldo like I normally did.

What was she even thinking she was way to old for my football headed love god and way to creepy too. I mean come on it started back in 4th grade so what was she some kind of weird scary pedophile or just a sad lonely women longing for the only free male she meat back when she moved in his house as a single lady. It was disgusting and creepy to even think about what she wanted from my beloved what she was dreaming about to do with him, cause her desire was clearly visible for someone who could read it, heck for nearly everyone than Arnold I guessed. Why had my cruel destiny once again sent a rival for his affections just after I ruined everything with my own stupid lies, was it bad luck, was it a punishment for my mistakes or just my bad luck again.

Whatever it was I was ready to fight and stand against it no one can ever take Arnold away from me, not some weirdo who loves him, not some crush he had on someone or anything else in this world. As Arnold finished helping she offered him a meal as a thank you, too bad she wouldn't have any gas or electricity to do so, since I cut her off for good. Then she offered him a ride to the nearest restaurant, had I heard Arnold rejecting her offer a little bit sooner I surely would have cut her car wheels with my knife at the fist place. But then again she doesn't deserve any better for stepping in my territory.

That dump boob what on earth was she thinking, as Arnold left her after that I manipulate her drain just to make sure she will learn her lesson once and for all. Unluckily as her room was floating with water grandpa sent Arnold right beck to fix it. The witch was happy but to Arnold it seams very disagreeable, maybe he even thought she did it on purpose to let him come back, who knows. No, he's way to dense to figure out such brilliant schemes and Machiavellian plans in that poor little happy mind of him. He could never think of someone doing such stuff on deliberately cause he wouldn't do it himself so his mind never get near he idea of even planning something like that, he wasn't me after all. Innocent and naive little Arnold, oh I would have to teach him so much good stuff when we finally where a couple that's something I knew for sure.

Stalking Arnoldo back to his house was some kind unsatisfying this time. It hurt that I nearly lost him and his special connection towards my heard forever by another foolish word of mine. It felt like the world would twist around me, like it was a maelstrom absorbing me into darkness of an endless abyss. I couldn't care less as it started raining above his roof, while I watched down to his room the whole afternoon, watched him as he was reading, as he was lying on his couch or as he was walking inside and out of his room and through the whole house for multiple issues. I stared as long as I could, as deep as possible, like my eyes where burning darts aiming for his heard deep in his chest, but they didn't seam to reach him. I couldn't sleep or even dare to walk home, afraid I would see him for the last time since our connection seemed lost forever now. As it was getting cold outside and my clothes were getting wet from all the rain I couldn't stand it anymore. I opened his window to the roof, climbed down the stairs to his bed and took a deep breath of this air filled with all tastes of my beloved. I walked around, reading in his diary, looking at the books he was reading at the moment, smelled his used closes from his laundry basket.

It was wonderful, it felt so natural to be near him, to be this close around him, without arguing, without my false mask on. A small smile finally found his way back to my face as I watched him sleeping in his adorable warm looking bed. Before I knew it I was lying down with him like i wanted so often so long before. I was lying above his blanket next to him but still it was like heaven. What a wonderful view my beloved football head had from his bed to the night sky, what a wonderful idea that the morning sun was waking him softly. As I lay there time seamed to freeze and everything felt slow and endless, everything felt good once again. I looked to my left to eye him in his sleep. Arnold was even cuter and more adorable at sleep then he was when he was awake, it was one of the most wonderful moments of my life, one of my girlish dreams came true.

"Let me take your hand, oh this night we set sail,

On a thrilling journey to a remote place called love,

Making memories and writing our own midnight tale,

A side by side silhouette, diamond-set dark velvet above!" I whispered in his ear and kissed his cheek gently with all my love even if it lasted only a few seconds. A lonely tear fell down my face as I realised it was all a dream, all wishful thinking and that reality would strike again once I left this room and he woke up the next morning. Sad ans sleepy I left his house to return to my own miserable, lonely room in our own loveless household. Sure my family loved me now, but no one loved me like Arnold would, no one loved me like I deserved it deep down at all. To knew this hurt even more than just the fact that Arnold wasn't loving me back just a little bit, or even liking me at all after what happened.

Passing a few shoppes I realised how sad and hurt I looked in the mirror of the window. Sad and depressingly my own reflection looked back at me with disgust and antipathy. What devil was I to hurt the one thing I love most in the whole wild world this much I asked myself and out of anger I threw a stone in the window, breaking the reflection. Like I was watching my whole life pass I just saw shattered fragments of glass falling down to the ground.

It was colder and colder as I finally reached my home, some guy tried to talk to me, maybe he wanted a cigarette maybe he wanted to rape me I didn't wait to find out as I punched him right in the face as he was close enough and began to speak towards me. What was that moron thinking to scare a helpless little girl alone on the streets like that. Just as I was about to think he deserved the beating I gave him I looked at the whole situation from Arnold's view. Maybe that poor young man was just like my goody two-shoes beloved Arnoldo. Maybe he just wanted to ask if he could help me or even walk me home on this dark hour. What if I had just beaten a innocent, friendly guy who wanted to help me? No wounder Arnold didn't love me I was an evil devil like Geraldo likes to say since we were kids. Closing the door behind me I saw Bob standing in the hallway, waiting for me.

"Where have you been Helga?" my dad asked angrily and looked like he was ready to hit me. I avoided his look the best I could and tried to walk past him to go to my room but he blocked my path.

"Damn Helga do you know what could have happened to such an hour with a young beautiful girl like you out there?" he shouted towards me really mad. Yeah sure dad, when I would look beautiful I wouldn't have this problem because Arnoldo would fall head over heels for me like he did with every nice face since I knew him.

"Yeah right dad as if I'm Ol-ga!" I rolled my eyes and tried once again to walk past him but he stopped me once again as his hand grabbed my arm.

"Helga what's wrong? And where have you bean?" Robert asked truly worried about me.

"I've been out there alone the same way I do since forever cause all you ever cared about was Olga. I was never as talented, as good looking or as nice as her and that's why I'm in this mess today thanks to this rotten family!" Helga shouted back angrily towards her father. He looked hurt and sad from her words, but offered her to go to the trophy room so they could talk if she wanted to.

Helga shook her head and walked up her room, of course she heard Bob telling her that he wanted to speak and help her when he could but that sounded more like a joke in her ears. What could he do, teach her how to ruin a marriage and to be an asshole towards his partner for the most time? Once inside her own bedroom Helga let herself fall on her bad exhausted and closed her eyes tired and sad that night.

Her dreams where focused on or around Arnold like they were all 6.349 days before since she has meet him from preschool. What could she do to tell him she was sorry and had lied right in his face without losing the last respect he had for her or revealing her sacred burning love for him all at once. This time it was more like a nightmare than a normal dream ending sad with Arnold falling for another girl and marrying her after he never spoke to Helga ever again. As Helga awoke, soaked in sweat she knew this was not how she wanted her fairytale to end, but she has no good plan to win his friendship back at all and even more no plan how to win his heard finally at this morning.

6.350 days... 12 hours... 52 minutes... 40 seconds... since she fell in love with the boy with the football shaped head. It seamed so long ago like a long lost history, more like a legend then like actual reality of her lifetime. The day went by, Arnold ignored her once again and she stalked him secretly like always. In the night she break inside his room again and worshipped his sleeping presence. Before she left she stole a few of his clothes for her Arnold-shrine, the life-sized doll, the mannequin with a photo of him. The shrine was like real Arnold should be, not rejecting her, not judging her but loving her with the same burning passion she harbour inside her love filled chest. Now with his clothes, his old base-cap and a photo of Arnold on her face the doll looked almost exactly like him. Helga give it a deep hug and let out a warm breath after she kissed the photo before she started dancing around in her room with the doll.

It was like the Tango they once shared, filled up with head, passion and desire as she lay all her desire towards her beloved in the dance with that doll of him.

It wasn't reality but like her dream from world domination Helga wanted it to become true, she wanted it all or nothing at all. She wanted to bath in his sunshine warm love or to burn if she couldn't ever have her desire fulfilled. Genius and insanity have never been so close inside one body as they where inside her, torn apart between never ending passion and endless hate towards one and the same person, while the rest of the world just looked grey for her at all. Dull and dismal the world never gave her anything like her beloved Arnold ever again, only bad and sad memories Helga thought. Was it really like that, was it all her imagination, was the world just not happy and girly enough like it was in her own wold of fantasy, was she a helpless daydream believer like her football headed boy wounder or was it all something else.

Was the world really that bad and sad or did it just look like that because in our dreams it was all perfect and paradise like a Utopia we never could reach Helga asked herself.

Since there was no one knowing her beloved like she did there was also no one knowing more about Arnold to help her now. And is Arnold avoiding her wasn't enough also Phoebe and Gerald started to avoid her as well. Her beloved must have slipped a word towards his best friend and he must have told Phoebe about what she said and they all seamed disappointed at her. Pheebs called that night to know what really had happened and as Helga explained her current situation towards her best friend she understood her dilemma fast. Phoebe's idea was to be truthful for once since lying had made everything worst in the first place but Helga wasn't so sure about it.

Since Arnold was avoiding her and she had to keep her reputation a simple apology was out of hand and other plans where hard to find at least for Helga. Whenever she was near Arnold the grey shadows fade away and it was like all colours came back to the world. Now that he was avoiding her, Helga felt more miserable than ever before in her whole life. She knew that she had to confront Arnold about it soon or the damage could never be repaired at all but she feared the consequences, she feared his rejection, she feared that he never could love her back.

Somewhere out there must be a Parallel Universe, a place where Arnoldo loved her back, even a place where he first fell in love with her at all. Maybe that was where everything went right and her universe was the cursed bad version of them all. But why here, why here what on earth had she done to deserve all this hasn't she ever been nice since the world threw all this dirt at her. She hasn't started it all but she was the one who wanted to end it victorious. Another nearly sleepless night full of nightmares let Helga look terrible. Bags under her eyes clearly showed everyone that she wasn't sleeping at all and ignoring Bob and Miriam's attempt to help her was only making her parents more worried and making the whole situation worse. The walls around her that once protected her now turned into a unconquerable fortress and she was a prisoner inside it.

Er fear and insecurity where her guards and without help from outside she could never break free again, never be truly happy again. She needed someone to get her out of here, someone to see her need and to help even if she rejected it and called him to stop, because she alone wasn't strong enough to do so by herself. But when Arnold the most kind, caring and careful guy in the world wasn't seeing it at all who on earth would ever see it then.

6.351 days... 13 hours... 42 minutes... 26 seconds... and the time passed by. The world still turned around even if she had lost all contact to Arnold. Mother Nature never recognised anything wrong, great Gaja goes on and on even if everything went wrong and many died each day. Earth itself didn't miss them, earth itself never seamed to realise that something was different from the day before and to think about it even made Helga more sad than she already was.

At least the Hellgirl had a plan for this day, she wanted to use Arnolds own guild, his feelings against him. She bumped into him on various places at school and neither talked to him or even looked at him. She knew that his do good-er attitude would eat his little soul like a mice would eat cheese and that he soon would feel sorry about what he had done to her and that he avoided her ever since then. Her trick was to be near him and remind him of his faults without speaking to him or come to near to him, to make him miss her and feel guilty enough since he was begging her to step back in his life even with all her insults and bad manners towards him. Two could play this game Arnoldo and the Hellgirl was ever so sure she was way superior than him, because now she could set the rules in this little dirty game. Now that she was back in control of the situation nothing could go wrong again, or could it Helga questioned her own plans. Was it this what everything was about, control, manipulation, to hide her fear of not ruling a situation, weather it was him loving her beck or anything else in her life. It wasn't noble or honorable, it wasn't fair and right and Helga had another moral dilemma. Was it right to win him and his friendship back with such tricks or did it just proof that she wasn't worth his love at all because of the way she thought, acted and worked.

6.352 days... 18 hours... 36 minutes... 17 seconds... and Helga's plan was working just fine. Arnold hadn't spoken to her jet, but his facial expression spoke clearer than any words he could have used. He was feeling depressed and guilty and could barely look towards Helga, the pressure to apologise in his typical Arnold way was growing every time Helga looked at his eyes, or watched his face. Still he was as stubborn as herself this time, it was clear that he was really disappointed in her behavior for once.

Even with the little accident of colliding into him or seeing him a few times each day she still felt far away from her beloved. He nearer she got to him the more she felt pulled away like a galaxy would divide them instead of a few centimeters. The feeling of loneliness overwhelmed her once again and after she spent time with Pheobe after school Helga went for a walk on her one to clear her thoughts and to get a little rest from all the stress and pressure she had because of the whole situation. Listening to "She Wolf" from Goliath Augett she felt a little better and arrived at the docks. The Skookumchuck River looked cold and lonely just like herself and she felt a strong connection towards the water. It was wild and furious from time to time but also slow and calm when everything was alright. It was soft and healthy but also irrepressible and dangerous when underrated, it was a lot like herself always torn apart between the two extremes. Her blurred reflection reminded her how reality and imagination could mix, how good and bad, black and white always where right next to each other. She sat down and her wandering eyes followed the river all the way west to the ocean. The air here always smelled salty from the near sea and the smell of fish made the place even more exotic even if it was in the middle of the city. Nothing seamed to work out the way she wanted it and everything always seamed to get worse.

Helga took her beanie off and revealed the hidden pink bow from her hair. She wrapped it tightly around her hand, making a fist and cursed the heartless world around her. Helga opened her pigtails and exposed her full hair to the sun for once. She looked down to her reflection and mumbled words addressed to her beloved:

"My heart literally hurts

My chest is in pain

Life without you

Will never be the same

I can't blame you

Because I did you wrong too

But now that it's officially over

I don't know what to do

We started out as friends

As I denied my feelings

You came to me

You wanted more, with more meaning

I did but I was scared

When you tried to be there, I left

I thought you were better than me

The best man I ever met

As time went on

I regretted my actions

Got caught up in my insecurities

They stopped me from acting

I couldn't believe you chose me

When I knew you deserve better

So I carried on,

As if I never met you

I finally got the nerve

To look you in the eye

Such a beautiful man you are

It shook me inside

I tried to mend what I tore

But the damage was done

I came back too late

You found someone

I'll never forget your smile

I'll never forget your kiss

But your presence in my life

Will forever be missed!"

With her least words Helga cried about everything she had lost, her grip let go of her ribbon, her symbol of the love she had towards Arnold and her body went numb. She fell forward right in the floods of the Skookumchuck River that carried her numb body away. The heavy flow washed her away and she immersed in the black cold water. The pink and blond colours of the young women soon could not be seen from above and the dirty river bathe her down the river towards the ocean. Her body get supercooled from the cold water and Helga lost the power to hold her eyes open. A last cold shiver and it was over Helga G. Pataki was gone, the weak girl that no one ever recognized and everyone just tossed around, that build up her aggressive and rude walls to protect herself died in the floods.

Her hand grabbed out of the floods trying to reach something, her body was cold and limb but not dead, she still could feel a warm center inside her, right around her heard. Everything has been lost, everyone has forgotten or ignored her but her love for Arnold was still there, as much as his concern for her would still be there, she could feel it. Her thread of life was connected to the football headed boy out there in this world and she could not leave it without him, she could not leave it without his love at least.

She grabbed for hold, but the muddy shore made it everything else than easy for her to gab for something she could hold on. Finally she could reach a root from a near tree and pulled herself out of the floods with her last strength. Deadly exhausted she spit all the water she had just had drunk as she was drowning and lay in the mud for a while. It lasted long until Helga finally had enough strange back to just stood up, but as she did she raised her fist towards the sky, cursing all the gods up there. Helga G. Pataki was stronger than anyone of them, her love for Arnold Philip Shortman was stronger than this whole stinking world she shouted out from the top of her lungs as loud as she could in that moment.

Looking down at her torn and dirty dress she had to admit that she looked like a hobo at the moment. Taking a small sniff on herself she had to add that she also smelled like one too, so bathing was the first thing to do after she arrived at home. Looking back at the river she realised that her ribbon was gone as well as her bands for the pigtails. Another stupid idea of her own had cost her one of her most valuable property she had about Arnold since it was the first thing he complimented her about. She was sure she could never replace it with anything else and looked sadly down to her shoes. Finally her eyes started to get wet again but out of joy, there at the chain of the wallet was her pink ribbon entangled n it. So she hadn't lost it after all and she hadn't lost her life today either and that could only mean one thing in Helga's mind. Faith had other plans for her and her beloved they where destined to get together after all. So there was not only hope, in the end she would have to get him, no matter what stands in their way.

As she arrived home Bob and Miriam where very worried about what had happened, because of her look, her ripped and dirty clothes and all the scars she had. Bob even asked if he should find the bastard who did this to his daughter and if he should beat him up for it. Helga told him she fell in the river and wished him good luck beating it up, while Miriam get her some towels and warm clothes to change into. It felt good to Helga that her family cared that much about her and that they were worried, but still she missed the affection of one person she was longing for so much.

"So how was your day? You know besides falling in the river?" Bob asked afraid that more happened and his little girl was just to afraid to tell him after all.

"Yeah Helga we were worried about you honey!" her mother Miriam told her and by the look of her face Helga knew she told the truth. After all her parents have improved very much in what and how they did their job as parents and after all this years they truly have become the kind of good parents she had always wished for when she was younger.

"Don't worry yourself I'm totally fine now!" the youngest daughter of the Patakis said, trying to avoid any unwanted questions about how she truly felt inside the city river at all.

"You're sure Helga because we could always start the Hummer, drive to the hospital and let them check on you if you want to!" Robert Pataki told his youngest daughter and looked at her from tip to toe. She looked okay considering her circumstances and he knew she would tell him if she really felt bad but something inside Big Bob didn't let him get any rest until a doctor had checked on her after all. Just as Helga shook her head Bob stood up, grabbed his car keys and her jacked, tossed it to the girl and walked to the door.

"Well were going anyway little lady so hurry up!" Helga's father ordered her and gestured towards the garage. Unwillingly but still to weak to fight back Helga did what he ordered and followed to the car. After a few minutes drive and Bob ignoring most of the traffic rules they arrived at Hillwood Hospital where bob shoved her towards the emergency room, not knowing that his strongest daughter was not that much hurt and he was overreacting.

"Don't give me that crap Doc I want everything done for her as fast as possible you joke!" Helga could hear her dad scream at the doctor and just rolled her eyes as the poor man tried to convince Bob that everything was just fine and his daughter has been lucky that nothing really worse has happened to her after all she had been trough today.

"Sir, we have run every test your daughter will be fine she just needs a little rest to get her old straight back!" the doctor tried to calm Bob down but that only made him angrier.

"I don't care what you think I want her to get well and you'll do every test twice just to be sure she will get well again or otherwise!" the older Pataki hold his fist right under the doctors nose. "I have enough lawyers to make you wish you have never been born!" Bob told the doctor, pointing at his chest with his finger over and over again as the poor man looked frightened towards him. Helga herself was totally tired and stayed in her hospital bad for that night, since Bob rejected to bring her just back home but instead took the seat next to her bed and waited the whole night, watching over her that nothing could happen to his little girl. As his daughter was asleep Bob looked to the pile of clothes and stuff his daughter had worn this day and saw something shiny between the clothes. As he picked it up he had a golden heart shaped looked in his hand, with the picture of a boy in it he knew well to much. Was that little orphan boy the reason his daughter was here today and why did she even have this looked in her stuff. Was she in love with the boy did they have a secret relationship or what else was going on, Bob asked himself worried about his daughter and his family honor. Whatever it was Bob would find out about what happened to his daughter today and when that little orphan had something to do with it may god have mercy with him cause Robert Pataki would not. It was a sleepless night and Miriam gave her husband some company and called Olga on the phone to inform her what happened to her beloved baby sister. As the sunrise awakened Helga Bob was still there by her side and watched her slowly awaking from a surely stressful day. Helga blinked a few times and looked still exhausted from everything that happened but she was a true Pataki and acted like one.

"Criminy Bob what's the matter? You look like I arise from the death. Shouldn't I be already up I have school and where the heck am I?" his daughter asked a little confused where she had spent the night since she normally awoke in her room. Then her eyes whidened and she saw her golden looked in her fathers hands and his look was asking more questions then she ever wanted to ask.

"What really happened Helga and what is all this about. What's with this looked and the orphan boy?" Robert asked worried and Helga get defensive and sad at the same time.

"DAD! He's no orphan at all his parents arrived back from the jungle remember?" she asked him since he was there at the airport as they all came back with Olga from the field-tripp before he finally left to San Lorenzo for a few years.

"Hm could be right!"Bob scratched his back unsure and looked back at the looked in his hands with the picture of the boy in it. He has never liked the orphan boy much, but then again he never liked much people and his daughter seamed to clearly have a thing for him, why else would she wear a looked with his silly smiling face in it Robert thought. "So you're a couple with him? Since when and where? Why didn't you tell me? Where you afraid of how I react?" Bob surprised her with many questions at the same afraid and interested in this part of her life he seamed to have missed until now. Helga also recognised that he didn't call Arnold an orphan this time, maybe he finally knew that she has a crush on him, heck he even suggested they had a secret relationship and thanks to that Helga was afraid of how he would react if she told him the truth.

"I wish it was like that dad!" the Hellgirl finally admit and looked sadly away from her father. Bob gently gave her the looked back and closet her hands around it, he was never good at this stuff but since Miriam wasn't around he would have to deal with this the best he could.

"What's that supposed to mean Helga?" her father asked and turned her head slowly back towards him. His little daughter was crying and when it was this boys fault he would have to discuss things with the young man the old Pataki way by beating him up. "Hey you can trust me Helga!" Bob spoke softly hoping that his daughter would finally talk about what was going on, why she was in the hospital, what the boy had to do with it and how he could help her as her dad.

"I … I … oh dad!" finally Helga turned around crying and hugged her father as she continued to explain. "I'm in love with that football headed cute boy since I first met him in preschool and I love him ever since. He never recognises me as what I want he always sees me as a friend and thanks to his wonderful and friendly nature I can't even stay mad at him for long. He still gets head over heels for some random chick but never sees me for who I am and how much I adore him. Maybe it's because I look so much alike you Bob maybe I'm ugly and not girly enough for him!" she told her father with a sad voice and he looked a little frustrated at her.

"Hey hey there watch your mouth little lady, Big Bob Pataki does not look ugly, not as a boy nor as a girl and when that dork doesn't sees that you look beautiful maybe Bob Pataki should punch some sense into his weird shaped head!" Helga's father threaten to hurt her beloved Arnold if he would cause her anymore trouble.

"Dad I appreciate the gesture but this is something I have to do on my own. I have to win his love out of his own free will, not with ticks and threat otherwise it wouldn't be the same at all!" Helga told her father and gently shoved his fist down again.

"What are you talking about? The winner takes it all no one asks later how you won at all. You clearly watch to much love movies like Olga girl!" Bob told her with a irritated raised eyebrow towards his daughter.

"Maybe that's how your business is working Bob but that's not how I wanted my love life to begin with. I really really like him to much for that!" she told her father and he just looked more confused than before.

"It's your battle girl, but I neither get Miriam with phrases like that and good intentions do not automatically let you win even if that boy believes in the same shit. Beside what your beloved thinks the world isn't that simple and I had to beat and break some teeth in to get these other suckers stopping from stealing Miriam's attention from me!" he told his daughter from his time in high school and looked down at her. "Maybe you're right Helga you're a girl after all, even if you're a tough one that's not how you should deal with the situation. I mean come on that softy surely is afraid of though and strong girls or else he would have seen how great you are long ago!" and with that Bob ended his speech for his daughter so she could reply something to his thoughts.

"It's not that simple dad, I constantly teas him and call him names just because I'm afraid he could reject me if he knows the truth about my love for him!" Helga nearly screamed in panic as she told her father what was going on inside her for the first time in her live.

"Look Helga I'm maybe not the smartest person on earth when it comes to relationship advices, but I'm pretty sure the way you tread the poor boy isn't the best plan to win his heard. For an orphan boy … yeah I know you don't like me calling him that, but as such boy he must have been lonely for a lot of time in his life cause his grandparents never could replace his real parents. So what a boy like him probably is looking for most is love and comfort that's why he acts like a friendly Sissie all the time towards people I guess!" with that words Helga looked hurt and misunderstood once again but Robert continued speaking.

"So I guess teasing him and calling him names isn't the best way to win his attention and feelings so he would like you back. I rather think that will pull him away from you more instead honey!" Bob assumed worried about how his daughter was dealing with the situation, also a Pataki never should be afraid of anything.

"I know Dr. Bliss already told me that Dad!" his youngest daughter let him know.

"So you still speak with that therapist huh? Don't tell her anything of my business ever Helga!" Robert told her totally afraid she would blabber something out without thinking about it.

"Don't worry dad I'm there to discuss my social and love problems not your illegal business methods!" Helga told him smiling and Bob himself laughed a little bit in relief.

"Yeah wouldn't be the right place to discuss stuff like that!" her father told her smiling.

"No Bob a police station would be way better!" Helga joked and Robert gently punched her on the shoulder laughing happily.

"So what are you doing about your boy problem?" Robert asked looking towards the looked in his daughters hands.

"I'm not really sure right now but being nicer towards him sounds like a good start!" the Hellgirl told her father friendly smiling.

"Indeed cause you're not the best Pataki for unfriendly jobs but you can call me for help if you need some rival to be beaten up or something like that!" Bob told her with a winking eye.

"No Old Betsy and the Five Avengers are just Pataki enough for a job like that dad!" Helga smiled back.

"Who?" Big Bob asked confused since he had never heard of two Patakis with that nicknames in his whole life.

"Never mind dad they're okay!" Helga laughed and showed her two fists. Robert shook his head and laughed as he get the joke and wondered some more time how much his daughter was just like him.

Helga missed a day of school but after that she could return home to her family again as Bob was sure that everything was alright with her body. For her mind he wasn't so sure, because the way she acted about the orphan boy and had that looked of him around her neck. Maybe it was a girls thing Robert Pataki thought.

For the first time in his live Bob wasn't sure what exactly to do. He has had problems with Olga to and he hasn't liked most of her boyfriends and man she chose for herself so he wanted to make it right for Helga this time. But he didn't new what exactly to do since money and force were not helping in this situation and he didn't knew what else could help.

Helga still was resting in her bed for the rest of the day but most of the time she was planning Machiavellian schemes of how she could win Arnold's friendship back and how she could make him finally fall in love with her again.

She was desperate because of the fact that none of her evil plans ever worked out in reality, so she didn't try to manipulate or trick him this time, but she planned to let him fall for her, the real her. He had liked her whenever she was nice to him out of his own and he sure liked her a lot as she disguised herself as Cecile on Valentine's Day so many years ago. Maybe just maybe that would work again, with a little luck her beloved could fall for her again, this time for the real her, this time for good and forever.

"The way I feel,

when I'm with you,

I forget my troubles,

like there's just us two.

You make my heart,

beat fast and strong,

and you make me feel,

that I truly belong.

You fill the gaps,

inside my heart,

like I've finally found,

my missing part.

I sink in your eyes,

I'm warmed by your smile,

and the world is perfect,

just for a while.

You make life better,

than it used to be.

You are the sugar,

in my cup of tea.

Whenever you need me,

I'll always be there.

I'll be there to talk to,

I'll be there to care.

Because for you,

I would do anything." the girl wrote in her little pink book before she went to bed that day. Tomorrow was a new day, a fresh start in school and the beginning of her greatest plan ever to make Arnold fall in love with her. Finally her football headed god would be hers and she would be his, making er a goddess herself with all her love towards him. No one would ruin it this time, not some other girl he fell for, not her own selfish fear of rejection. Helga Geraldine Pataki would simply not allow it and she was ready to face all dangers and consequences this time, simply because she couldn't stand living without him and she couldn't leave this world without him neither. Helga was sure there was no place worth living in if Arnold wasn't at her side, not in this world and not in any other.


	5. Chapter V: Dear Arnoldo

Disclaimer: Nick and Craig Bartlott own Hey Arnold!

Post FTI, after The Jungle Movie and after The Patakis!

Hey Arnold: Stalker in the Shadows

Chapter V: Dear Arnoldo

6.353 days... 15 hours... 26 minutes... 37 seconds... and nothing was like it used to be. Arnold was so far away and still ignored me dont matter what I tried, so I finally get rid of him and all my old stuff about him. I still loved him but seeing it all around me hurt so I stuffed it all up to the backside of my closet. I still wanted us to become happy ever after, but for the moment I was hurt and scared after the impact all the stress and trouble had on my body lately. I mean I never fainted out of stress before, just out of pleasure for seeing him, speaking with him or being near him.  
So I tried to calm down, give it all a break and finally come up with a plan to win him all over and let him fall deeply in love with me, but nothing happened. I couldn't think of one lousy idea of how to get his interest without turning back to my old lying, breaking in, betraying and stealing bad self. As the day passed and I couldn't come up with one logical and simple plan I spent more and more time without stalking Arnoldo to finally get together with him so I wont have to live a minute without him in my future anymore. Of course I used a disguise, I stopped wearing my typical clothes and my pigtails anymore and I traveled to places in the city as far from my own neighborhood and typical environment as human possible in this stinking city.  
But then again fate once more showed his ugly face, by letting Arnold ran into me at a coffee bar in Uptown. What the heck was he even doing here he never comes close this city side on a normal day ever in his whole entire life and I just knew that because I constantly follow him around whenever he was awake. But the worries about myself where getting smaller as I realised he was in a bad mood and looked unfriendly, witch almost looked unnatural on him. As he turned his head I realised he had a black eye and by that must have been involved in some kind of fist fight witch seamed even more unnatural and weird for Arnold of all people.  
His collar and parts of the rest of his shirt also were torn apart and it really looked like he had been in a real fight, but what about and with who of all people in the world could my flaxed haired angel have gotten in a argument about whatsoever. I pulled a strain of hair over my face and looked away cause I didn't wanted him to see me like this, to see me at all and even less to see him in this vulnerable and hurt state. I just couldn't stand looking at him without feeling sorry or coming up with lame excuses why I was here, why I didn't talk to him for the last days or other crap like that. The waitress nearly pushed him out on the street again for how he looked as he spotted me in the crowd and walked over to me. My life was official over, nothing could rescue me from ruining things up for the ultimate last and worst time as something happened that I never would have guessed in a million times.  
"Cecile?" the football headed angel asked in probably one of the most sweet voices I've ever heard him talking him as he walked towards me. I tried to ignore him the best could but he just called out my fake-name even louder.  
"CECILE?" Arnoldo called again, this time loud enough to get the surrounding people to pay him attention as well and loud enough I couldn't pretend to not hear him anymore without letting it look forced.  
"Ar Arnold?" I asked surprised as if I hadn't seen him already and looked with big eyes towards him, clearly none of my best acting so far.  
"Cecile its been years since we last have met and I couldn't forget about you since that evening. How are you, what are you doing here, what happened in your life?" the innocent and dense boy asked once again not able to see trough my total weak disguise. But then again I wasn't wearing my typical haircut, or my typical dress, my hair covered my goat ears and my unibrow pretty good and just my nose and typical face was still there to remind him of Helga G. Pataki. As much as I really love him he is pretty dens and naive sometimes, but god knows Im just happy for that right now. Otherwise I already would have heard a few questions about why I have been of school a whole day, or why I had all that scars and bruises all over me since than. Since my disguise also had different clothes, like my long pink skirt and my pink pullover he truly couldn't see any of them as he could in my old Helga Pataki dresses.  
"Well Arnold I've hmh been busy yeah thats it I've been pretty busy the last few years!" I explained and faked a laugh while I totally knew he wouldn't buy this at all so I had to think of a fast distraction as he took the other seat at my table.  
"But I couldn't stop thinking of you either the whole time!" I confessed. Man that was the only line in this conversation till now that was not totally based on a lie at all.  
"In fact I've been thinking about you a lot since I still like you " I started as Arnold cut of my sentence with a happy "You do?" the smile he was having a she said these words where automatically make me smile too. While I was sure my face gets redder each second I simple nodded before I continued to tell him what I wanted to tell him before. Why was life always easier when I was Cecile, was it the way I wasn't afraid he could reject the real me that lets me stay cool and calm when I was around him as Cecile instead of old Helga. Im not quiet sure but I like it a lot, it was in one of my daydreams, we chat and smile and really seam to get along together. Why couldn't it be like this all the time, but clearly he doesn't see Helga G. Pataki the way he sees Cecil-me, I could tell it by the different looks on his face when he was around me as Helga or Cecile even if the last time was so long ago.  
" yes I did back then and I still do Arnold. None of my feelings have stopped since I was a small girl, to be true they have even increased since then, the more I grew up the stronger I feel my connection to you!" I told him and looked shyly away, oh that was the understatement of the history. First I liked him liked him, then I gagaly loved him and now I practically wanted to be a part of him till judgement day if that was possible. Its my football headed love god for gods sake even if he would act like a total douche like he was a different person when he did that whole self-defense karate moves from his grandma. I was literally scared as he turned out to be bad and aggressive instead of nice and kind. Just like the time he played that evil guy in our school musical it just wasn't really Arnold being so nasty, but he was still hot while doing it.  
"Thats strange Cecile, because Im feeling the same about you " he told me and stretched his hand on the table towards me. Helga old girl you must have died in that river and gone to heaven. I didn't waste this chance and lay my hand about his as we looked deep inside each others eyes. O fate, oh fortuna for once you are playing the cards in my hands at all.  
" I still have your shoe from all the way back then, so If you want it back you can come over to my place if you like someday!" he said with half lidded eyes that were clearly trying to seduce me and it was working just fine. The way he looked, the way he spoke it was magical wonderful but I just knew that it would be over as fast as it all hat begun in the first place.  
"Whats the matter Cecile?" he asked concerned as I looked away from him sadly.  
"Nothing ArnoldO . do- do- dont you think this will end up like the last time? You and me both happy realising that we have these deep and unique feelings or each other inside our hearts and then we will not sea each other for a long time?" I asked sadly. It was true he wasn't seeing me since that Valentines Day but I saw him everyday since then and I will as long as I could see something at all, oh who was I kidding I also see him in my dreams and when I close my eyes he was in my every thought so I never stopped seeing him at all.  
"No it hasn't to be that way, I dont want to lose you ever again Ce Cecile!" he said, he clearly was asking himself what my real name was but his face just told me he didn't matter for now so even better for my.  
"We could hang out, or phone, or mail, or whatever you want, just dont leave ever again!" he said so fast it almost sounded like one big word. Then suddenly he rummage around in his jeans and pulled his wallet out and also a pen and a little pad. He used one of the paper to write it down and handled it over to me.  
"Thats my address, phone and mail just in case you want to stay in contact CECILE!" he said my fake name so nicely and jet so alien that I got scared for a second, but then he grabbed my hand softly with both of his hands and didn't let go.  
"Its okay if Cecile is not your real name and I can wait to hear it until youre ready, I've waited so long to see you back. I've had other crushes after that, like a girl called Lila but none of them as strong and good feeling like you. I just dont want to lose you again!" the boy with the weird shaped head told me. And for the first time in my life I wasn't disgusted to her Lilas name like it hat lost all its magic cause he literally said she never had that connection towards his heard I, well Cecile-me, or the non-afraid-real-me did on that one single night so long ago. He even said he had my shoe after all that time and that was both, cliche and cute at the same time, like in some heart warming, sad fairytale or something like that.  
I looked at the writing, as if I would actually read it while inf act I knew every address, phone number and mail he had eve got since years. I was smiling like a stupid princess finally kissed by her dreamy prince and looking happily at him, as I realised it wasn't the best idea to stay connected with him. I mean even dense as a brick Arnoldo would be able to connect the dots when he was writing mails at none other Address than that of Helga Pataki for crying out loud.  
"I would love to stay connected Arnold but its that you know beck when we spent our first evening together? Im still that shy, sensitive girl inside thats afraid to rush things to fast even if we both clearly dont ha if we both like each other!" I told him, almost blowing my cover by acting to much like my bully self. Must be the years of practise being a total bitch to cover up my own feelings deep inside I guessed since I clearly had no control about when these alternate fake self of mine called Helga Pataki showed up right inside of this perfect conversation with Arnold right now.  
"I mean I clearly want to stay connected to you too, since you're one of the friendliest, most kind and brave boy young man I've ever met, but can we please do it on my conditions since my past friendships and love-live didn't work out to well?" I asked him nicely and my golden haired angel nodded in understatement clearly happy that I wanted to stay connected to him too.  
"Sure we can Cecile as long as youre okay with it I can totally agree on staying connected on your conditions!" Arnold said smiling at me. "So what have you been up to these last years Cecile, I mean Im sure you did great things and a smart girl like your reached every goal she aimed for, but tell me please!" he said simple. If he only knew half the truth, that I lived in the shadow of my big sister for the most time, that nearly none of the thinks I ever wanted worked out for me at least. But I clearly couldn't tell him my self-pitty Helga G. Pataki story since he wanted to her what Cecile was up to all the time.  
"You know Arnold its king of fine on Hillwood Hills High. I've got great grades, my art classes and ballet is lovely and my many friends are just pleasant!" I lied straight inside his great Helga old girl, covering your lifelong lie about hating him with another lie in a sad try to win his hear this time. Im truly pretty sure many happy married couples started just like this.  
"Wow you do ballet Cecile? I mean I always knew you where sophisticated but this is still great news, you like opera too?" he asked, totally falling for the half lies I tossed at him and once again I had no choice but to continue to cover up my build up background story.  
"Sure, ballet really is fun. I mean its also hard work and needs a lot of strength and bodily training but its totally worth it!" In fact thats where I got my break-into-your-house-ninja-skills besides my whole jiu-jitsu training.  
"Its helping both physically and mentally to be fit and healthy!" I the Hellgrl told him smiling, even if it was just a Cecile cover-up and not the real life-story of the one and only one Helga Geraldine Pataki. He laughed with me and even if he had been beaten up he didn't look so bad anymore.  
"Yeah I can see that!" he said friendly and I felt my blood rush in my cheeks again. Was he really flirting with me or was it again some kind of daydream fantasy? No in none of my fantasies I would think about my sweet angel getting hurt or looking like that.  
"And what are you up to Arnold?" I asked and to say his name with so much love in my voice without fearing anything bad felt to good to describe it.  
"The usual. Trying to approve my notes, hanging out with my friends, trying to find the girl of my dreams!" he said looking shyly towards me. I wasn't sure if he was just joking around again but I truly felt flattered by these words.  
"You old flatterer!" Helga told him blushing and waved her hands to stop him before she was fainting with all that blood in her now dark red face.  
"Somebody has to!" he said happily. Was he meaning it, did he really think I should get compliments like that more often, but then why didnt he gave them to me when I was plain old Helga. Was he afraid it could ruin our friendship he always believed that did exist dont matter whatever I did to him.  
"And do you have luck with your plans lately?" I asked interested, mostly because I wanted to know what he was truly feeling about me, Helga Pataki and how we lost connection after everything was working so fine at first on that weekend.  
"Not very much but at least today doesn't seam to bad!" he told me and rubbed his hurt eye as if he had just realised he had still get beaten up too today.  
"You dont look like that Arnold what happened to you?" I finally asked the question I was holding back since I first saw his beaten up face today. I knew he would never cause anyone trouble willingly and he was such a nice boy so how can any monster just beat the poor thing up like that I asked myself.  
"Lets just say I run into someone who was really mad and just beats me up for well I really dont know to be totally true!" he said looking worried and clearly he wasn't sure why he has been beaten up exactly and that alone made him think about possible things he could have done wrong it seams.  
"I just hope your not hurt really bad Arnold!" I said honestly worried about him and as I fondle his hands with mine. He didn't move away so he wasn't disgusted that Helga G- Pataki was touching him like that, what a joy, then again he believes its Cecile me and not my true self.  
"No I feel totally fine and dont worry Cecile its nothing that wont heal soon!" he told me. How brave, how fearless, how heroic he was every time, oh my beloved football headed boy-wounder what on earth was impossible for such a shining Knight like you.  
"Good to hear that. Why dont we order something for both of us since I hope you will stay a while here with me?" I offered him and he nodded fast and happily. Really was it that simple to get a date with Arnoldo, then what the heck have I've been tiring so hard the last years without any success I asked myself wondering what I could've done wrong because now it looked pretty simple after all. After that much tricks and pranks to sabotage his dates with other girls the only thing I really had to do all the time was simple ask him out on my own. I slapped myself across the face to see if I really wasn't dreaming but not such luck. Not only did it hurt he and some other people now looked at me very confused like I was insane or something.  
"What was that about?" he asked and I could tell by his worried look that it must have been even worse to watch then to just feel the embarrassment from this stupid action that was now going trough my veins.  
"Nothing Arnold, just wanted to make sure this is not only a weird dream!" I told him the truth and he giggled like a little girl about it. Was he really that relaxed when he was with this side of me, was I really that cool and relaxed even if I had practically a date with the person I loved more than the rest of the world combined. It was nearly to easy to be true but it wasn't a dream so maybe, just maybe after all the worse things I've faced in my life finally it seams to be my turn to get some luck at last.  
"If this is a dream then I must be dreaming, even if I had this dream before. I finally met you again and then I wake up and it was just another dream!" he said sadly. He truly has wished to see me, well this side of me again after that night and he clearly wanted to see it more often it seams. Well my beloved your wish can be granted once again, like it was that Christmas night I searched for Mr. Hyunhs daughter Mai or when we saved the neighborhood together from FTI.  
"To bad otherwise I would kiss you right now!" I couldn't help but look at the boy stunned did he really just say that. The way he covered his mouth looked extremely silly but was a proof he said that line loud without thinking about it. I was unsure of how to react to my sweet football head. Sure I wanted to kiss him even more than he ever could want to kiss me anytime but we barely knew each other, well he barely know me I mean the real me, the girl I pretended to be right now, well I mean Im such a basket case. He leaned in closer, I leaned in closer and I could feel the tension and passion build up between us at the moment I nearly fainted again.  
"But thats just wishful thinking I mean we barely know each other!" he told me and I figured I looked as disappointed as Arnoldo looked right now. "I mean dont get me wrong I would love to, but maybe we should know each other a little more before we take that step!"  
As he said these words I nearly laughed at him, only deaf innocent Arnold could make a kiss sound like he wanted to have sex with me right now on the table. It was funny and so cute at the same but I could totally understand his motivations, maybe even better than he could imagine. It wasn't just the fear of rejection or doing something wrong, it was his fear that we could end up as bad as his countless other crushes he had on some bimbo chick since I knew him.  
So he didn't want to rush it fine by me, the more we would take it slow and nice the more it could end up in a wonderful life married to him. Oh who am I kidding Im sitting here in disguise lying to him about who I am, or at least not telling him the whole truth so what was I doing. It was wrong and yet I couldn't stop myself finally I was next to him, talking to him the way I wanted for so long and I wouldn't mess it up by some unimportant shit called reality and honesty. Sure it would hurt him sooner or later cause Mister Goody never did something wrong as far as I could remember and he loved honest people. But he was asking for it when he told me he liked me since back then, maybe liked me like argh loved me since then. Take that Little Miss Perfect he even thought about Cecile me when he was with you LI-LA! Why should I ruin this moment, this great chance in my life with the truth, he wanted the girl of his dreams and when that mean to lie to him I was still in for that game. He was my burning passion of fire and when he wanted me to be I would be his gasoline even if we would burn the world around us. Since when did I care about this rotten world around us I only cared about the two of us, and about us being together.  
"Thats fine by me Arnold I can totally understand that you want to take small steps, my love live hasn't been the best either in the past!" I confessed not telling him that he was the burning pain inside my heard. He looked like my hair was on fire and as if he wouldn't believe me.  
"I cant imagine you having a bad love life at all youre such a wonderful person!" he told me. Like the Devil in disguise he said the angelic words I wanted and needed to hear even if he cursed all the trouble in my heart at the first and I totally fell for it once again like it was a demonic spell.  
"Believe me I have had a miserable love life!" I told him, unable to hold back a few tears as he rubbed my shoulder and stood up to hold me for a moment until I stopped crying again.  
"Im sure it wasn't your fault, everyone who cant see what luck he has with you is clearly an idiot!" he told me and didn't knew it was all about him. I cried again but laughed at how he practically told his dense self an idiot at the same time.  
"Yeah he was maybe the most dense and stupid idiot in the whole world!" Helga told the nice boy in front of her and Arnold didn't get it at all but that was exactly what she wanted right now. If he ever discovered she was Helga G. Pataki it would be all over and end like a nightmare again.  
"You must really still like him the way you talk about him. Have you met him after we had that great Valentines Day or do you still harbour feelings for him!" he asked and being Arnold it wasn't hard to knew he wanted me to tell him if there was a rival in my heard or if I had a boyfriend at the moment.  
"I knew him for many years now and I knew him years before we finally had that date!" I told him and he looked disappointed at that statement. "I spent the best Valentines Day of my life with him but he never came back, never tried to figure out who I was or me me again until NOW!" I told Arnoldo and looked him deep into the eyes. He had to do hard work to not see the real me deep down behind my mask for all those years but he had managed to overlook the real me. Sure he knew I was nicer than I ever showed people but he didn't knew the full truth even if he only had to dig a little bit deeper from where he already was.  
"That sounds sad I oh. No Cecile you get it all wrong me and Gerald tried to look after you we even got a list of possible girls the same way we did when I found that Pink Book once. Never mind forget the rest part but I truly looked out to find you and see you again but we weren't good enough to figure it all out as kids!" he said honestly and I could hear how disappointed he was that the dream-team of Arnold and Geraldo never manage to get the clue and found out more about Cecile-me. "If I had known you lived in this part of the town we wait a minute, when you live here how did you fell in love with me on the first place?" he asked confused. Clearly a girl from this good part of Hillwood never just showed up at Midtown, even if it wasn't at worst as Downtown. Think Helga old girl think fast my mind told me to come up with a good cover up.  
"Ähm I Im well I hmh I've seen you at the Redmond Residence when you helped Sammie Redmond and Alan Redmond to connect together as father and son theyre neighbors of mine!" brilliant Helga, not enough that you stalk the boy so much you knew about this you actually lied that bad that he clearly cant visit you in your fake address at all or he sure will knew the truth. " I mean back then not now anymore, now I live somewhere else ähm and yea I discovered what a nice and friendly guy you where back then so I well I fell in love with you!" I aid and he looked like a deer in the headlight. Oh great Helga old girl you just randomly blurted out that you love him once again on the totally worst timing. Now whats going to happen next? Clearly little hopeless football head will fall in love with you same way he does with every other girl that seam to like him great move. Then again isn't that what I wanted exactly, why is all of this so damn confusing.  
"Excuse me Cecile did you just say you love me?" he asked if he maybe had misheard himself.  
"Im such an idiot!" I told him and searched for fast escape ways to run away when the first chance to do so showed up.  
"No youre not Im just surprised you told me that out of the sudden. IM really flattered and like I said I want to know you better !" he started. Great another rejection after the FTI incident even if we agreed nothing happened back there.  
" so I could give you an honest answer of how I feel about you and where our ways could lead together but for now please lets start as friends and not rush it too much!" he finished and I felt less angry or hurt as in the first part of that sentence. He didn't want to rush it and he wasn't watching me like some of these pervert jerks at school sometimes but he clearly has the hots for Cecile-me. Maybe he wasn't honest about it but I clearly have seen enough of that looks when Olga got with a new boyfriend home who was only having eyes for her and nothing more.  
"Thats anything I ever wished for Arnold!" and for once it was the truth and I felt never happier to tell him that. I even told him I loved him and he didn't freak out, so this day could never get any better. And even if he didn't just say he loved me back and by so never gave me a tender kiss as an answer he hadt rejected me. Wait a minute he never rejected me at FTI either but he clearly didn't give us time to see what our friendship might develop into like he did right now with Cecile-me. Well Ill take what I can get and if he likes me because he sees the real me for once it wasn't nearly as much lying and behaving like I did every day when I hide my feelings for him after all or was it? We ate together and spend a really nice day at that cafe but when it was over all hell break lose again. When I arrived home I worried about what would happen if he finds out the truth. I couldn't just write him letters or call on the phone or he would knew I lived in the Pataki Residence and I was plain old Helga Pataki. Since Olga wasn't around and Miriam would ask why to much questions after her twelve-stepping and becoming a real mom I called in Pheebs for help that evening.  
"Let me get that right Helga you lied to ice-cream so you dont have to lie to him anymore and youre truing to build a friendship to him that can involve into a relationship even if you had a friendship with ice-cream before but you didn't trust him enough to take it on the next level and tell him the truth back then!" Phoebe Heyerdahl asked her best friend rising an eyebrow at her.  
"Yeah Pheebs thats pretty much it and now I need your help to fake living there and being Cecile in a final master-plan to win me all the ice-cream I ever wanted!" I told her laughing innocent like it was no big deal when in reality I just heard from my best friends mouth how insane the whole plot sounded. Suddenly Pheebs slapped me across the face an started shouting: "That is by many standards the most stupidest and worst plan I've ever heard from you and that says a lot complaining how worse your otherwise brilliant mind get when it comes to plans for getting some ice-cream!" she told me disappointed while I rubbed my cheek with my hand.  
"Will you help me Pheebs? Please I beg you!" I asked in fear and made the biggest puppy eyes I've ever made at her since we knew each other. The little Japanese girl sighted in defeat and said a simple: "Helping!" to let me know she was on my side for this whole plan  
Was it crazy maybe it was but I was willing to do it when in the end Arnold was in my arms. First of all we searched for a apartment in Uptown in order to have a fake address and living space in order Arnold writes, calls or even wanted to see me. It would have been easier if I where Olga but thanks to a few lies and some tricks I convinced my dad Robert to pay for the whole think. After all he needed a fake address for some of his business anyway and since there was a garage connected to the house he could use it as free store room when his own wasn't enough. Getting myself some cool stuff for inside to let the place look like I was living there and me a few more dresses was way harder. After all it should look like the real me, the sophisticated Cecile and not like tomboy Helga Pataki is in a gang kind of stuff as most outfits of myself look like the most time since I was a teen.  
So me and Pheebs convinced Miriam to go shopping with us and she loved giving us advise what looked good and girly. We had a blast of fun and Miriam didn't even bother in asking us to buy our own stuff at all. Finally after a week of phoning with Arnold over a new Cellphone Bob gave me as a present for my whole storage-apartment idea in Uptown where the police never bothered someone we had everything done. Cecile's Apartment was finally ready after we spent nearly every day without sleep to finish it and I even managed to get some pictures from myself as Cecile right in time to decorate the rooms with them. Phoebe even managed to get some random girls of Uptown even some neighbors on the photos to pose with me so it all looked the more real. Seeing it all together it finally didn't sound like a very dump plan after all, heck if I didn't knew better I would have believed it myself and the feeling of finally getting all I wanted thanks to my luck and my really great plan. I was so happy again that I even started to stalk him anew, even if I still avoided him in school since he still looked sad and angry towards Helga-me whenever we met. Now that it all was settled I finally get the courage to ask Arnold to hang out with me instead of just phoning or mailing each other every day. The hardest part of it all was not to call him by my typical nicknames while we where talking even if I loved them as my one and only pet names for him.  
"Hello?" his dreamy voice answered his private phone in his room standing beside his couch.  
"Hello Arnold its me Cecile. I thought maybe you wanted to hang out at the weekend you know come over or so?" I asked. 6.361 days... 4 hours... 38 minutes... 19 seconds... and finally everything was working as planned. For me Helga Pataki ready to wait a lifetime for him to love me back it wasn't that much time than it sounded to be true now that I finally was so close to my goal. Clearly he would see the real me, fall in love with me and then I could revel my secret identity to him after all. That sounded like out from some kind of super hero movie but as long as its just in my mind and nobody could ever hear it everything is fine.  
"Sure I would love to Cecile. Where would you like to go and at what time?" he asked politely. Oh what I would love to do to you after all my beloved, but I must be patient and wait until finally the burning desire is en-flamed in yourself too that is so constantly eating my soul from inside.  
"As much as I would love to visit your place or go somewhere together I figured you would like to know where I live, come over and then we divide together what we would like to do so?" I asked and his voice almost sounded as if he was whispering when he answered "Sure!"  
I had a date, a date with my beloved Arnold, not any date but a I-like-you-you-like-me-date and one in my very own apartment no less, even if it wasn't truly my living place. Just thinking about all the possibilities of him and me together in that place alone did give me shivers, all the romantic possibilities that where flashing through my mind right now. My beloved football headed angel, what wonderful things we could do on that sofa and bed I bought for Cecile's apartment, what dreams to finally come true. As he said that one single but wonderful word sure I jumped around joyfully that my dreams were finally getting closer.  
"Great how about you come around at 10 oclock tomorrow?" I asked happily and I was sure to sound like my preschool girl self again when I first met him.  
"Ill be there!" he said like it was nothing. I melted into pudding this was all perfect, why at ten you may ask. Well clearly I needed time to get to the apartment since Bob would ask to much questions if I didn't stay at home at the weekend where Olga was coming home. And to many questions was exactly what I didn't want neither from Bob or Arnoldo so my plan was to stay up as early as possible, take the bus and head to my apartment right in time before Arnold arrives. When everything was working out fine I would have enough time to make a little mess there too. Not too much so he thinks Im not sophisticated at all but enough to let the place look like I already live there. Thinking about living there I totally should go shopping right after this call to make sure there was something to eat and other stuff if we wanted some. After all the plan was to go out after meeting here but when he ask about something to drink, eat or use the bathroom I cant just say: No sorry Arnoldo you cant cause I actually dont really live her so there is nothing really inside that fridge!  
Even if he was understanding and caring I couldn't do that to him, probably would freak him even more out than the whole truth actually could. It sure sounded scary out of his view, meeting a strange girl again after years who clearly is in love with you all the time, knowing stuff about you even if you never recognised to met her before exactly and then youre at her home to realise shes not living there and its all made up, sounds like a good start for a dark horror movie. After saying sweet goodbyes I finally hung up the phone only to see my father standing in the doorway.  
"Do I even want to know whats going on?" he asked and looked at me as I had frozen in one of my dancing moves with the phone still in my hand. Bab walked inside my room and leaned against my desk.  
"This isn't about the weird headed boy you have that golden locket from with his picture in it is it?" he asked concerned and as the blood flooded my face his look totally let me knew this was all the proof he needed to be sure about it.  
"Whats going on between the two of you are you and that orphan boy Alfred in a secret relationship?" Bob asked with a look Helga hat never seen before. It wasn't anger, it wasn't fear and it wasn't sadness it was a weird, terrifying mix of all these emotions as he waited for an answer from his youngest daughter. What should I tell him now that he seams to know about the locket without sending me to the funny farm when he knows the full truth.  
"His name is Arnold dad, Arnold, Arnold, ARNOLD! Hes no orphan he has his parents back. They are called Miles and Stella Shortman theyre doctors, hes a Anthropologist while she is a Botanist thats more than you and Miriam ever have reached in life!" Helga shouted angrily at her dad and sat on her bad arms crossed and scowling at him.  
"Easy there little girl I wasn't judging just remembering what I knew about him. So hes Arnold and his parents are doctors eh? Are they getting good money from that?" Bob asked a little Angy and set next to his daughter who was angrily looking away from him, growling something he couldn't totally understand.  
"Just kidding Helga the boy wasn't such a pain in the ass all the time but he was really getting on my nerve saving trees and the neighborhood and stuff like that even if he was mostly right in the end!" Bob told remembering as much from the Boy then he could at this moment.  
"Wait a second didn't you date for a short time as kids?" Robert asked rubbing his head as he tried to remember more from the time he hadn't been the best father in the world. "Yeah I remember he was here a couple of times he wasn't that annoying back then, actually I had a few things in common and we all hat fun. Wasn't that before you broke up and he left to that foreign country?" Bob asked as his daughter now started to cry about the memories and his word.  
"Forget about the last part youre finally together then huh? What Im truly worried about isn't him because I remember again he always treated you like a true gentleman Im worried because you havent told your dad anything at all but then again you never answered my question if you two are back together?" Mister Pataki asked his daughter now eager to know more about what was going on since it clearly still had a strong effect on his youngest child.  
"No Bob were not beck together I wanted us to become friends again even more but then I totally Bobed out on him, shouting and insulting even if he didn't do anything wrong and we never spoke since that weekend he called ever again!" the youngest Pataki screamed angrily but her voice was weak and shattered nothing sounding like the one sh used before. She was shivering in fear and hurt as she told him what really happened as she was supposed to be at one of her friends, that she lied, that she didn't trust him in the first place hurt the most in Bobs view.  
"And here I thought you were back together and he wasn't treating you right so I looked all over for him. Told him he should behave and be friendly to you or otherwise answer to me. As he told me he had no Idea what I was talking about I punched the little punk in the face. Guess looking back that wasn't helpful at all?" Bob confessed what has happened after he found the locket and has seen his daughter in such a bad state at the hospital after he thought the two of them had gotten into a fight the night Arnold called his house.  
"You what? YOU WHAT?" I asked hoping that I just have misheard myself. His guilty look and the way Bob looked like he really had messed something up in my life again was enough. I slapped him right in the face so hard my hand hurts.  
"Youre the worst father anyone could ever have in the whole world!" I shouted and run out of the room as he looked stunned and wide eyed after me. He didn't follow nor did it sound like he was moving upstairs as I grabbed my coat and shoes and headed outside. I didn't want to be near him anymore I didn't want to be in his damn house anymore and most of all I didn't want to be a Pataki anymore since that only made things worse in my past. I ran and cried in the night not knowing where I was running to until my legs gave up. At least it wasn't raining but I never felt so hurt and alone in my whole life before. Helge Geraldine has finally reached the point where everything around her seemed to fall apart. I cried till my eyes where dry only to find myself in frond of the old Circle Theatre. I couldn't move on either, so I just sat on the sidewalk and looked to the ground.  
Alone with my thoughts I tried to figure out what had been going wrong what I could have done to mess this much up without making anything wrong after all, maybe I should have been nicer to Arnoldo from the beginning after all and my bad karma seams to strike back. The sound of a fast driving car holding abruptly in front of me get me back to reality. It was the olive drab Hummer from my dad and Bob was rushing out like he was insane or something. Right as I wanted to say something nasty and leave again the other doors flew open and I could see Pheebs, Geraldo and Arnold? Just what the hell was going on here? The most logical explanation seemed to be that I slip on the stairs on my way downstairs and had hurt my head really worse.  
"Helga are you alright?" my best friend Pheebs asked worried and helped me to stand up. "Yeah you got us worried there Pataki!" Geraldo told me while I still looked confused around them not knowing what was just happening.  
"Just what the fuck is going on here bucko's?" I asked serious worried now at the very unrealistic scene in front of me.  
"Your dad said he had an argument with you and you run away so he showed up with Phoebe and Gerald at my house to know if I could knew where you would go in the middle of the night!" It as until now that I realised that Pheebs was already in her pajamas and Geraldo and Arnoldo also had just the underwear on they where normally sleeping in an barely pulled their coats on. Arnold did sound more worried about me then still mad or angry and finally he was speaking to me again but that wasn't helping at the moment even if my insides where feeling weird like I was in a twister.  
"So you all heroically decided to look after me in the whole stinking town?" Bob nodded shameful as Arnold helped me inside the car even if I didn't need any help with that. The gesture made sure he was deep worried about little old me running away in the middle of the night like that and that alone made me feel happy again.  
"Yeah I wasn't sure where to search, so I called your friends cause you know four eyes see better than two!" Bob told me and pulled his jacked over my legs in case I was freezing from the cold night. It was silent on the way back and even if it wasn't the fastest route Bob drove Phoebe and Gerald home at first. In front of Arnold's house I thanked the football head too and waved him good bye. When I turned around I saw that Robert as studying me in the mirror.  
"He doesn't know does he?" Bob asked worried as Arnold finally was inside his house after waving back one last time and his door was closed.  
"No he doesn't!" I said sad and looked down once again. I was still mad at my father and he knew it the moment I called him Bob again instead of dad.  
"Since when do you like him again?" Robert Pataki asked his youngest daughter in a soft voice as they drove back to their house.  
"Since Im tree years old. I never stopped liking him, not when he broke up with me not when he moved to live in San Lorenzo!" I said. Knowing that facing Arnold after what he did and apologising he did something wrong wasn't easy for my father and his code of honor I guessed it wouldn't hurt to be honest for the rest of the evening.  
"Well it took me a few years to figure out what a wonderful person you are Helga and as I finally saw all of you it made me one of the happiest man in the world knowing I had two unique and great daughters both in there own ways. That boy Arnold isn't stupid so he will figure it out again shouldn't take that long!" my dad told me trying to sheer me up. Yeah Bob just took him over nine stinking years the fist time.


End file.
